Not Your Typical Weight Loss Blog

Where Have I Been?

2011-06-07T16:11:00.002-04:00

I have been busy. I didn't even do a "What I Ate Wednesday" last week! We are going on vacation to the Shine with Unschooling Conference on Sunday, and it seems my nearly every moment is taken up in preparations.

Last year, when we went to this conference, it was a LOT of work for me. This year, I have been determined to make it easier. Unfortunately, I think all the advance preps that I think are necessary to make it easier for me while we are there are tiring me out so much that I may not be awake next week!

Our family isn't a fan of big conferences, and all I know of are out of our price range anyways. The two events that we seem to have settled on as our yearly treks are ARGH (Autodidactic Radical Gathering of Homeschoolers) in the beautiful mountains of Eastern Tennessee and Shine in the Catskills here in New York. I think the problem with Shine is that ARGH somewhat spoiled me. Not the gathering itself, but the wonderful cabins complete with linens and kitchenware all at a super reasonable price! We pay more to go to Shine, and we get what they call a 2 room cabin which is really one room with a section with 2 bunks beds in it separated off by a curtain. The cabin is tiny, the bunks are tiny, there is electricity, but we really need to bring everything we need with us.

Note, Shine is a wonderful conference, and there really isn't anything like the state parks in Tennessee or Virginia up here in the Northeast. Shine is such a wonderful gathering that after it last year, everyone in our family went on and on about how great it was, and I was left wondering why it fell short for me, and I knew it was the work. The meal prep, the dishes, the cleaning, the trying to keep six people organized in a very tiny space. It wasn't that everyone else didn't try to help. It was more that those sorts of things are my responsibility in our family, and it was a lot. This year, I am hoping for it somehow to be a little easier. I shall see!

Now, about going away and food. ARGH and Shine are the most difficult times of the year for Diana and me, even more difficult than the holiday season. There are food events, with lots of different foods, and not much in the low carb category. Also, Diana loves trying ALL the desserts at potlucks. Even when we are not at group eating things, we are more limited in our food choices to what we have brought and feel like preparing (which is usually nothing.) In spite of these difficulties, I thought I'd give a few tips on eating better while vacationing.

1. Pre-portion snack foods. This helps so much! If things like crackers and nuts are in individual serving size bags, we eat a lot less.

2. Have a plan, but don't be slaves to it. I find it works best if I plan food for each eating occasion, and then we change everything and eat what we want when we want. Simply having the plan ensures that we have foods from all the different categories that we should be eating with us. Letting go of it, keeps us from feeling stifled while we are there, and lets us enjoy the flow of the actual event.

3. Cook some things ahead of time. This year, I am cooking all the meat that we plan on eating next week before we go so we only need to heat it up. I am also going to bake some healthy things like homemade breakfast bars that we can grab and go.

4. Limit eating in the car. We think of meals and snacks on the road as times to stop, get some exercise, eat, and then resume our journey. Eating in the car, just leads to mindless nonstop eating so we try to avoid it if at all possible.

5. Don't bring a lot of healthy treats with you. The truth is you are going to end up eating some less healthy treats. You are on vacation. It is going to feel like a time to make exceptions. We find that if we bring "healthy treats", we eat the healthy treats and then the less healthy treats too eating twice as much! It is better to just have the real treat and save the healthier treats for another time when we are more on track.

6. Don't use eating more poorly while on vacation as an excuse to give up all hope of eating better when you get home. This is probably the most important piece of advice. When you are home, make a point of going back to your healthy ways right away. Bring home the relaxation and new ideas from your vacation, but leave the less healthy eating habits behind.

Friendship (My Problems with Intimacy)

2011-05-27T19:29:00.002-04:00

I don't make friends easily. It is a deep truth of mine, but at the same time, I have said it so often that it has nearly become a platitude. Matter of fact, I think that I only ever become friends with people who won't let me go; I certainly don't make it easy for them! At the same time, I wonder if I am selling myself short. Diana is my best friend, and I was the one who fell in love, the instigator. Then again, if she wasn't who she is, one who holds on and loves really hard, it probably would have never worked in the end.

I like to spend much time alone, but there is the spark of joy that seems to only come from sharing times of rollicking conversation and fun with others, and it is something that I long for far more often than I ever manage to experience it. I was always on the outside as a child and young adult. The other girls thought me strange, and when showing my natural pragmatism, I was occasionally accused of being callous and uncaring. I built my walls higher and searched for connections that would give me the safety I craved in relationships.

Of course, relationships are never 100% safe. You don't control the other person. You can't ever know the other person completely either. I struggle for it though. I demand intimacy from those who try to befriend me. If they don't communicate enough, I back off, make myself invisible (I am good at that), leave them at the wayside. I don't trust easily. They could leave me at any moment. I want to know who they are so that I can feel close to them and not have to worry that at any moment they might declare that they never really loved me, that it was all just an illusion of my own creating.

I also have problems with any sort of difficulty within a friendship. I came to realize a few years ago that I think friendships are suppose to be perfect. Friends should never have disagreements. They should never share opposing views. They should certainly never argue. I thought an argument meant the end. I know where this comes from. My ex-husband and I didn't argue. One day, he just said he had never loved me, and loved someone else, and that was that. He wasn't open to any sort of reconciliation. When I fussed, he pretended, but he never really tried.

Now I have been told by friends, that a disagreement doesn't mean it is over. Wow! My gut instinct is to still think it is, to feel abandoned, to lose hope. I expect not only to know the other person so completely I can predict their every move, but also for them to be so perfectly in tune with me that they will never do anything to cause friction. I realize that my fears are limiting my connections, but they are very hard to let go of. It is so much easier to say that I don't need anyone else.

Of course, I don't want to go in the opposite direction either. Diana and I were talking just the other night, that in order to feel safe with another partner (we are polyamorous), we would have to feel that they were communicating well with us. We have both had past partners that just wouldn't talk, and then in the end, basically said that we should have known that they weren't happy and how to fix it. (And still even in the very end not exactly clarifying the situation.)

I don't know how to fix my intimacy issues, but I hope being aware of things that are issue for me will help me to moderate them or at least to communicate them to those I start to get closer. (I do tend to warn people right away about my need to know everything!)

This post was inspired by this thought provoking story: The Lion that was a Tree that was my Friend at Ladena Kaboom.

What I Ate Wednesday

2011-05-25T20:00:00.004-04:00

Breakfast - Scrambled eggs with cheese, coffee

Snack - Almonds with sesame seeds & dried fruit, coffee

Lunch - Turkey, leftover chicken and sausage from a kebob, mini whole wheat pita, iceberg lettuce, pickles, diet cherry limeade

Afternoon snack - Graham crackers with butter, diet blueberry lemonade

Dinner - Fish sticks, beets, mixed vegetables, diet blueberry lemonade

Evening snack - Piece of cake ice cream

I usually don't eat an evening snack, but we had this leftover ice cream (my favorite) from my birthday, and we all had a scoop this evening. It was delicious!

Photos courtesy of Diana *Bunnykissd* Bukowski.

In the News: Apples May Be Good for Our Cardiovascular Health

2011-05-19T19:38:00.002-04:00

The results of a new study by the Department of Nutrition at Florida State University show a relationship between regularly eating dried apples and both a reduction in LDL cholesterol ("bad" cholesterol) and an increase in HDL cholesterol ("good" cholesterol.) The study was rather small, with only 160 female subjects.

Half of the women were randomly assigned to a group that ate 75g dried apples everyday for a year. The other half ate 75g dried prunes for a year. Several health factors were measured at 3, 6, & 12 months. The final results were that the woman who ate the apples had an average 23% reduction in LDL cholesterol and an average 4% increase (maybe not really significant) in HDL cholesterol. They also lost an average of 3.3 lbs (probably also not significant). There were no significant health changes in those who ate the prunes.

My take on this study? It was a small study. One hundred and sixty people is a really small sample in my opinion. Because the researchers were not setting out to prove that apples helped health, I think the results for this small group are still worth looking at, especially the reduction in LDL cholesterol. There are a lot of different nutrition things that have been shown to lower LDL cholesterol, such as increasing your intake of soluble fiber, eating more fatty fish, eating more nuts, and using olive oil. If those don't work for you either because they are not viable diet options or they just aren't enough, I think adding a couple of ounces of dried apple to your diet each day might be something to give a try.

What I Ate Wednesday

2011-05-18T21:39:00.003-04:00

Today was not really a typical day. We most often (Diana & I) have bacon and eggs for breakfast, but we were out of bacon today. I had a particularly high calorie lunch, and then a small dinner. We went to the lake, and when we got back, I was feeling rushed and out of it so it was really hurried. Diana did a great job capturing photos for me though!

coffee, eggs, & sausage

more coffee and almonds with sesame seeds and dried cranberries

diet cherry limeade, kiev stuffed chicken breast, carrots roasted in the microwave

more diet cherry limeade, spiky biscuit

water, stir-fried chicken with vegetables

Love Yourself Tuesday!

2011-05-17T12:27:00.002-04:00

I think I have a love-hate relationship with myself. For the most part, I accept and love myself. It is complicated though. For one thing, I believe that I am who I am. I didn't have any choice much in my genes or my environment. I have choices in life, and I do the best I can in making the right choices (if there even is such a thing which is something that I highly doubt.) Therefore, why should I do anything other than love myself? I am all that I can really know.

I like to look in the mirror at myself, naked. I realize I am odd in this, especially among women, especially especially among women who are on the large side of average. When I look in the mirror at myself naked, I see beauty. I do not see flaws or imperfections. I see this glorious body that does so much for me and allows me to continue existing here on this earth in this life that I know for a bit more.

Diana knows this vain part of me. She revels in it. She sees my beauty too, but she says it is easy to see beauty in others. I disagree. I think it is far easier to see beauty in this body that I know than in anyone else's body. I feel sad that Diana cannot look in the mirror at her body and see beauty like I do when I look in the mirror and see mine.

(And in case she is wondering, she is beautiful, but that is not what this is about.)

I wish that all women out there will love their bodies today. I wish that they will all see their beauty. I wish, if necessary, a paradigm shift in their minds allowing them to know that they are beautiful. Seeing our beauty starts with ourselves.

Keepin' It Real

2011-05-16T14:01:00.003-04:00

Anti-perfectionism. It is something I strive for.

It is not easy for me. My family is a family of perfectionists. We are also quirky and accepting and a lot alike each other. Still there is an under current of perfectionism. We are smart and capable in our heads. It is hard I think for all of us to accept that we are not perfect. (Note, this is just my observation, not a judgment or necessarily fact. Even I am capable of over-generalizations.)

We are not unique in this by any standard. I have written before about how entrenched perfectionism is in our society. I think it comes through so easily in media and in the connections of modern technology. I also think that modern technology contains the seeds that may some day do away with so much perfectionism. I intend to do my part.

I have failed on my 30 day trial of using Diet Power again. I do think this program is a good tool. I did use it to successfully lose a lot of weight. I have kept that weight off for several months now. I am not sure exactly why it is so hard to persevere now. There are complications in my life, but there are often complications in my life. Perhaps it is because I am healthier, and it no longer feels like a life or death issue. Perhaps I am experiencing growth in other areas. Perhaps I just let little things get to me and then don't get right back on track. Anyways, that is the fact.

I am not perfect.

I will keep on sharing though! I am really enjoying being back in the blogging groove. I do intend to keep striving to eat healthy. I may or may not lose weight. I hope you enjoy sharing my journey!

Size Doesn't Matter

2011-05-15T21:28:00.003-04:00

One thing that is really near and dear to my heart is the issue of fat acceptance. I like the term size acceptance better because I think fat is a derogatory term in our culture and because I feel that it is definitely a relative thing. Where do you draw the line?

In high school, I weighed around 130, and I knew I was fat. I thought I was so fat that no one would ever want to date me. For most of my adulthood I weighed around 235 pounds, and I knew I was fat. I thought I was so fat that no one would want to be my friend. Then I went up to 320 pounds for a few years. For those years, I knew I was fat. I couldn't walk very far without getting out of breath. I had trouble getting in and out of bed. My back ached on a regular basis. At any gathering, I knew I was the fat one. The odd thing was that I no longer thought that no one would want to date me or to be my friend. Even though I weighed more than at any other time in my life! Even though my health was definitely suffering in a way that it had not been before. Something had changed. I had learned to accept myself.

Now I am back at around 235. The weight that has stuck around most of my adult life. I actually feel thin! It is funny because I suppose most people, especially people who don't know me, label me "fat," but inside myself, I know that I am not fat like I was before. For the most part, I feel great! My back rarely aches. I can jump into and out of bed. I sleep easily and rarely snore. I can walk wherever I want to. These are very good things.

The point is that I was labeling myself fat at 130 and 235 and 320, and now at 235, I am not labeling myself fat. I am just me. I have a certain amount of body fat. Most people would say too much. I choose to not use the fat label because I don't want to draw a line. I do not want to have to decide when I am no longer fat. My low weight is 115. I am one of those people who still has a chubby stomach at 115. Will I be fat at 115? Do I want those of my daughters who have more body fat than some people think they should to be labeled fat? Yes, I could tell them to reclaim the word. I would rather just do away with the word as a description of a human being.

I have a daughter who is underweight by the definitions given out by medical science. People notice that she is very thin. She has occasionally been judged for being very thin. She has never been judged to the extent that those of my daughters who are on the other side of the spectrum are judged. This is in spite of having a dangerously low bmi. It seems that being at risk of death from anorexia is preferable in our society to having 20 pounds of "extra" fat even though the health risks are less by anyone's standards.

Today I proclaim my stance. Size doesn't matter. A person is a person. I choose to blog about weight loss because losing weight has helped me to have better health, and I think I might have some positive things to say that could help others who are choosing to give a weight loss path a try. I am not judging anyone based on their size or saying that weight loss is necessary to health in any instance. I can only talk about me and what I know.

Philosophical Musing or Something Like That

2011-05-13T14:14:00.003-04:00

Wednesday I was all set to start a new feature on this blog. It was to be called "What I Eat Wednesdays." Diana was taking photos of all my food, and I was going to post them at the end of the day. I was quite excited because it was a challenging day. We had a date that evening with Joseph, and would be either eating out or getting take out, and I still wanted to keep my eating in line with my 30 day trial goals.

Unfortunately things did not turn out as I planned. Diana photographed my modest breakfast and my morning snack, then at noon, I had a gallbladder attack. It wasn't as bad as some, but it was bad enough so that I was in no shape to go out that evening, and my calorie total for the day was only 802 calories. (I made up the difference by eating a bit more the next day. Hopefully my metabolism will stay in line.)

I thought though that this would be a good place to keep track of my gallbladder issues. Many people are now recommending that I have my gallbladder taken out, but I still have some reservations so I thought I would keep track to see just how much it affects my quality of life.

So on Wednesday, May 11, I had gallbladder symptoms from noon to 2:30 p.m.

Hmmm...not really any philosophical musings in here today, but I am happy to be healthy enough to write this update!

Quick Update!

2011-05-10T21:50:00.001-04:00

Today was easy peasy! I had a lot of calories left this evening and had a tasty dinner of garlic puffs and cheese ravioli. I weighed 229.6, and Diet Power recommended 1367 calories.

Day 6 with Sunshine

2011-05-09T13:44:00.002-04:00

Today has had a few difficult moments.

This morning, I got up much earlier than I usually do. Getting up at 5:40 a.m. is not too bad, especially when there is a blue sky and the sun is rising. (I love sunrises!) On the other hand, I am quite sleep deprived at the moment and getting up that early definitely gets my usual eating plan out of joint. I felt irrationally hungry all morning, and then after lunch (a rather ordinary lunch!), I felt ill. All my meals were earlier than usual which makes me worried that I will be super hungry this evening and have no calories left.

Anyways, I am enjoying the weather this day and listening to some music. Lia is out rollerblading in the sunshine. Es is working on her "drawing from life" skills, and Josie is bouncing between them. Ant is sleeping after staying awake all night, but I have some job applications ready for him to fill out when he wakes back up.

Sundays

2011-05-08T20:24:00.003-04:00

Sundays are a long day for the Faerie Gardens family. We get up early and head into Syracuse for church. Well, technically it is not church. We go to the May Memorial Unitarian Universalist Society, and this particular UU group seems to be very fond of using the term "society" right down to changing the lyrics in some of their hymns.

Why do we go to this church so far away from our home? We are a very mixed family when it comes to religion. Diana, Esme, and I identify as pagan, and even between the three of us, we accept different truths about the universe, and have different beliefs. JoAnn and Lia, on the other hand, identify as Christians. While Diana, Esme, and I were for the most part happy with our family's eclectic celebrations, Lia and JoAnn wanted to explore religion in a deeper way. They requested to attend on a regular basis a church that would accept both those with Christian type beliefs and those who are homosexual.

Diana and I spent last summer trying out a few churches, and this was the one that best met our needs. Probably the deciding factor was when they started a teen pagan group that Esme was interested in. Antonio chooses to not attend church with us and enjoys Sundays as his time alone at home.

This week, in honor of Mothers' Day, we made a couple of other stops, visiting both my mom and Diana's mom. Esme needed to stay at church late to do child care during a meeting so that worked out quite well. We also made typical stops at Wegmans and the library, not arriving home until around 4:15 or so.

Being out and about for so long was very helpful in eating less. Today I weighed 231.2 lbs. Diet Power recommended 1271 calories, and because for most of the day I didn't have access to food, it was definitely the easiest day yet. I also think I am adjusting (which is typical for me) so that eating this way seems normal. It will be exciting when Diet Power recommends higher calorie amounts, and it will feel like I am eating lots for a few days (probably in a week or two.)

Day 4

2011-05-07T22:22:00.002-04:00

I haven't been as healthy as I would like today.

I have had an overall good day though. I took a nap (which is very odd for me!) I did my usually things, laundry, dishes, reading, selling. I forgot to write until now!

Diet Power recommended 1222 calories today, and I stuck too them. Now, I very much need to go to bed!

Pain & Zucchini on a Lazy Sort of Day

2011-05-06T20:06:00.003-04:00

Today feels like it has been both longer and shorter than ordinary days. I have not accomplished even most of the ordinary things that I do most days.

I have had a lot of pain today. First it was my right ankle and foot, then my left hip all around, then my left thigh. It was very distracting! It has been a long time since I have had such roaming nonsensical pain like that, and I wonder if it is from changing my diet. I will soon be over the change period. I can't wait for that!

I did do some reading today. I finished reading The Sky Inside by Clare B. Dunkle and was quite please with it. I also grilled out for dinner making a tasty and low calorie feast of chicken breasts and zucchini. I am feeling for the most part satisfied.

Today, I weighed 232.4 lbs., and Diet Power recommended 1189 calories. This was the easiest day so far to stay on track, but that might just have been because I let other things slide.

Poison Ivy & Day 2 of the Diet Power Trial

2011-05-05T21:25:00.002-04:00

In our family, we are poison ivy experts! We live on three acres that seem to be mostly populated with the stuff. We have it in all of its forms, vines, bushes, & plants. No matter how careful we are, we succumb to its affects on a somewhat regular basis.

Last year, at this time, I had it bad. I was trimming some new growth that included some juicy baby poison ivy plants, and my face, particularly my eyes, got sprayed. The four weeks that followed were definitely four of the worst weeks of my life. During that time, I learned about the value of hot water in treating itchiness.

Hot water is the most effective method to get rid of itch. What you do is you put the part that itches under a stream of water that is comfortably hot and then slowly turn the temperature of the water up until it is just barely bearable. What happens is that all of the pain neurotransmitters will be fired off, and there will be none left to cause itchiness (which is really just a slight pain) for awhile. How long? Usually about two hours although your results may vary. What do you feel? First you feel an unbearable itchness, and then a wonderful release! You will know when it has worked.

I am thinking of this now because I currently have a poison ivy rash on both my ankles. Yes, I have been careful, but spring is the most difficult time! Not only are there ton of shoots coming up which you have to really watch out for, there are still dead vines about full of the oils that cause the reaction. The rash I have now was probably acquired from bare sticks or vines. I did indulge in a short time of sitting in the woods blowing bubbles a couple of weeks ago. I am pretty sure that that must have been when the contact occurred.

I am doing the hot water treatments four times a day, and pretty much keeping my discomfort at bay. It is nothing like last year when my entire body was itchy, and my eyes were swollen shut.

Today, it was again for the most part easy to stick to the 30 day trial. I weighed 233.0 this morning, and Diet Power recommended 1188 calories. I have eaten most of them already, but have enough left for a drink and a mint before bed.

An Unexpected Visitor and Day One of the Diet Power 30 Day Trial

2011-05-04T18:23:00.003-04:00

Today is day one of my 30 day trial of using Diet Power both as a recording device and a point of calorie control. Today I reset my diet, and the program recommended 1221 calories. My starting weight is 234.6. For the most part, it has been easy to use the program and stick to the calorie amount.

This day has been anything but typical though! It seemed to start in an ordinary manner, cuddling with Diana and getting ready to read a little of my book before I got up. Then shortly after Diana got out of bed, at around 9:30, the phone rang. A friend of Diana was in Fulton and wanted to visit. We are always happy to see Robert so we gave him the OK, but it was a little weird because I am always anxious about unexpected guests. I am not social at heart, and just in general, wandering away from my routines can cause a lot of anxiety.

Diana hopped in the shower, and I hopped up and headed into a variation of my morning routine. Josie made biscuits for breakfast, and Ant made coffee so I washed dishes and cleaned and listened to morning chatter and mostly kept everything running smoothly.

Biscuits are generally not on our approved breakfast list, but by the time we ate, it seemed appropriate so I started the day with a treat and kept on track from there. Dinner tonight features baked sweet potatoes. Yum!

The Return of the 30 Day Trial

2011-05-03T14:54:00.002-04:00

When I started this blog, I was using the 30 day trial method of making changes in my life. For the most part, I was pretty successful.

Then I got bogged down with a trial that just wasn't working for me. It was the exercise walk everyday. I was torn up by anxiety of walking outside for 30 minutes a day. Note, I love walking, but I do have some agoraphobia issues, and they came out in full force!

Now I have realized that although "The Long Walk" is one of my big goals, I do not need the 30 minute exercise walk to get me there. There are lot of other training models that work better with my mind and abilities and that is what I have been doing the past year, and I am happy with that.

What lesson did I learn? First of all, I learned that I need need to learn from my failures. I need to let me be both the scientist and the subject of those types of experiments in my life. Second, I think I learned that I need to not plan things out too far in advance. I am much more a "go with the flow" sort of person.

I just found myself realizing that I am at a point where I think I would like a few personal challenges of the 30 day trial variety so I am starting here. My diet has fallen apart into an on and off thing that is ultimately going to lead to weight gain. On top of that, with the gall bladder disease, I am feeling insecurity and fear every day about everything I put in my mouth if I am not sticking to a plan with guidelines to keep me healthy. The problem is that there is a point when while on plan I need to ride out an uncomfortable period, and I have not been successful at pushing past that point the last few months.

With a boyfriend who rather frequently takes us out to eat, and a vacation on the horizon in June, I need to get this under control to feel healthier and more secure in my digestive health as I approach the summer. So, starting tomorrow I will embark on a 30 day trial. The challenge will be to record all my food in Diet Power for 30 days and to stick to the calorie recommendations they give me. (One of the best things about the Diet Power program is that they change your recommendations based on your weight. I love the fluidity of the program, and it also meets my belief that it is healthiest if our food intake varies from day to day.)

Of course, I will report on my progress here.

Catch Up!

2011-03-14T19:51:00.003-04:00

In the last couple of months, I have started many posts for this blog, in several cases writing many paragraphs before saving and never returning to them. Ending blog posts or conversations or relationships even are not things that I am particularly good at.

This blog keeps calling me though. I would say that of all my blogs it is my favorite, and the one I think others are most likely to get useful information from.

Since I doubt that I will ever finish all those entries without endings, I thought I might ramble a bit here about some of the topics that I felt compelled to write about even if I don't really flesh out the topics. It is a starting point.

One thing I have wanted to do was an update on health issues where Diana and myself are concerned. I will start there.

The pluses - Diana lost 46 lbs. last year. She also lowered her fasting blood sugar from 150-160 to 115-125. She has more energy. She can for the most part wear clothing from the regular ladies' section of stores. She also finds it somewhat easier to select foods and portion sizes that help her to stay healthy.

The negatives - She still struggles to avoid high carb dessert type foods in the evenings, and although she moves a lot more than before (simply because it is easier and she has more energy), I would classify her as very sedentary. Her A1C is still in the borderline danger zone, and she'd like even lower blood sugars. She thinks if she lost more weight those things would even out, but after a lot of extra eating during the holidays, it has been hard to get to a place of steady weight loss this year. She has pretty much plateaued moving between 180 - 189 but is not breaking the 180 barrier. There is a part of me that wants to say that maybe this is what she is meant to weigh. (She is 5' 2" like me.) But I think we are both pretty certain that losing a bit more will be get her other numbers to the place where she will be able to minimize the risk of any diabetes complications.

Plan - For now, she is doing her best to make good choices without feeling deprived. This year, I have been plagued with health problems of my own, so my use of Diet Power to record calorie totals has not been regular. Hopefully as my health stabilizes, I will continue that and be able to assist Diana in her efforts. As the weather warms and the snow melts, increased activity will also be part of the plan.

Now for me!

Pluses - I lost 85 lbs. last year. I lowered my fasting blood glucose level from 140-150 to 95-115. I have a lot more energy, so much more that in some ways I feel like a different person.

Negatives - I have a history of gall bladder disease, but up until last month, I had not had an attack in 9 years. Well weight loss is a trigger for gall bladder problems. I did not lose weight super fast but still the gall bladder problems have returned. I am determined to not have my gall bladder out if I feel that there are any other options. So I am back to using diet to keep it under control. This means I need to eat a very low fat diet, and I need to watch the total volume of food that I eat at any one time. Of course, I need to eat a low carbohydrate diet too due to diabetes. This leaves me feeling that no food is safe, and that I am hungry all the time.

I am lucky. After several attacks, (I kept telling myself that it was just a fluke and I'd be fine), I returned to the method that enabled me to get it under control 9 years ago, and I now seem to be doing OK. It has been a very exhausting struggle. The past few weeks just seem like a blur of pain followed by a blur of starvation followed by a blur of exhaustion and only today am I feeling anything at all like my old self!

Similar to Diana, I have not lost much weight this year, only around 5 lbs, and most of that due to the starvation part of my recovery. I am hopeful that now that my energy levels are better, I will be able to see how I can make more weight loss happen.

This is the place where I suddenly want to stop writing even though I know that I have not really ended. I also want to write about fat acceptance. That is so important to me, and since I have been losing weight, I worry that people will get the wrong idea about my opinions from reading my blog.

I have wanted to write more about perfection, and how it can create a landslide effect that hurts us all.

I have wanted to write a lot more entries about positivity, passion, and play because those are the things that often fill my days.

I have wanted to write some "what I eat" entries because I get a lot of questions about that.

I have also wanted to go back to making menu plans because I love routine (except when I hate it.)

Oh, an entry or two or three or maybe even four about my daughters might be called for too!

Those things will have to wait...

Things I Learned (or had reinforced) This Week

2010-12-06T12:53:00.003-05:00

1. You really can eat anything if you watch your portion sizes.

2. Diana and I both get full on a lot less food than we use to.

3. As long as you are eating better than you would have in the past, you are accomplishing something. (In other words, don't beat yourself up when you aren't perfect!)

4. You really can't compare the weight gain and loss patterns of two people. Each person is truly an individual in terms of metabolism patterns, water retention patterns, and the effects of various foods (or lack of foods) on their body.

5. Because of what I said in number 4, you really have to take all nutrition advice, even advice given by the results of carefully executed studies, a grain of salt.

6. Sometimes it sucks being a person who doesn't overeat, especially during the holidays.

7. I can make feasts and desserts for my family and still not overeat.

8. Shoveling snow seems to be a completely ineffective method of increasing the pace of my weight loss.

9. It is best to never hurry and never wait.

10. Frequent solitude is essential to my well being.

Living Healthy with Diabetes: Join the Minority (or Is It Majority?)

2010-11-20T08:37:00.005-05:00

It is always interesting how things come together in my life. A few days ago I read this blog post by Single Dad Laughing. Several of my unschooling friends had posted it to Facebook, and after reading it myself, I shared it personally with a few of those who I am close to. Then today, I was thinking about diabetes. Particularly, I was thinking about how few people with type 2 diabetes do the things that are necessary to control their blood glucose levels so that they can enjoy long healthy lives.

I understand why they don't. It is because, in general, doctors expect patients to fail. When consulting with Diana's team after she was diagnosed with diabetes, we were told repeatly by different health professionals that we could try this or that dietary method, but in the end, Diana needed to take a lot of meds and was facing a future filled with diabetes related complications.

When we attended a series of diabetes education classes, the nurse and nutritionist who taught them repeatedly comments that everyone's diabetes is going to get worse and that it wasn't anyone's fault. They also said repeatedly that all diabetics were going to binge and eat too many carbs and that the best you can probably do is to consider insulin therapy in the long run.

The statistics aren't promising. I won't spout off the numbers here because that isn't the purpose of this post, but I will say that if you have type 2 diabetes and you don't figure out a way to achieve tight blood glucose control, the odds are that you will die of heart disease or a stroke long before you hit the age of average life expectancy, and on the way there you will experience vision loss or kidney failure or lower limb amputation or all of the above. I will also say that at this point in time very few type 2 diabetics achieve tight blood glucose control.

Where am I going with this? In spite of those risks, which I think most people would want to avoid, most people don't control there blood glucose levels. Why? This is partly due to poor education. This is partly due to the wishy-washy type advice given by health care professionals. I think that it is mostly due to a diabetes patient's sense of hopelessness. They see the statistics, they hear the doubt in the voices of those who care for them, and they just think their situation is hopeless.

Guess what. I am not better than any other diabetes patient. Neither is Diana. We do know that some diabetics do manage to do a good job controlling their blood glucose levels. We do know that there are several different methods of doing this; the key is consistency. We are plugging away knowing that everyday won't be perfect (for nothing is) but that we can be in the minority. Perhaps I should follow Single Dad Laughing's methodology and say that we will be in the majority, the majority of those with good blood glucose control who don't have diabetic complications and do live long, healthy lives.

I have not been posting in this blog for awhile. Other things have been calling me. I do know that through this blog I can perhaps help others who have diabetes and aren't sure what to do next. (Maybe they aren't even sure they have diabetes. Wishy-washy diagnosing seems to be rampant too in spite of clear diagnostic criteria.)

I am not making any promises, but if my spirit leads me, I will update more frequently with health tips, nutrition news, and loving yourself ideas that just might help my readers to realize that they to can join my majority and look forward to a long, healthy life.

Goals!

2010-10-01T10:54:00.002-04:00

I forgot to include our goals for November first in my last post. I have decided that we do need to bring the blood glucose meter and the scale and to track our food when we are gone as best as we can without regular internet access.

Goals for November 1, 2010

Me: weight 239, bg less than 100

Diana: weight 182, bg less than 100

Autumn, the Time of Busy-ness

2010-10-01T10:41:00.002-04:00

While some of the members of the animal kingdom are using autumn to prepare for winter, it seems that our family spends autumn ramping up our activity level. Right now, I am at a point in my life when I want less activity of the social variety so this has not been a very smooth transition this year on my part. It also has been less than optimal for our diet. We have been eating on the go a lot more and that removes a level of planning and mindfulness from the equation. The results are present in our totals as October starts.

Our goals for this month were:

Me: weight 240, bg less than 100

Diana: weight 184, bg less than 100

Our results were:

Me: weight 245.6, bg 122

Diana: weight 188.4, bg 107

This is the first time that my blood glucose was over Diana's. I did have around 1.5 cups of white rice last night, and both of us have eaten more carbs than we have in a long time this past week. This just tells me to ramp up our control a bit more this next month! I am up for the challenge. :D

It will be a challenge too! This month we have a birthday party at my sister's house, a champagne brunch in Utica, and of course, we will be on the road to ARGH on the 30th, and then at ARGH celebrating Halloween on the 31st! There are probably other things that I am not thinking of too. I am tempted to bring our pocket scale everywhere and to weigh every bite that we put in our mouth!!!

Last month wasn't a complete wash out. I still lost one pound, and Diana lost two. Diana's blood sugar is still exceptionally good although I'd really like to see her with a number under 100. I am sure it will happen eventually! On with the show...

Yay for Summer!!!

2010-09-01T11:22:00.002-04:00

Well this summer has not been a time for a lot of blogging, but it has been a time for a lot of fun and growing! Here it is September, and we have officially survived the summer of 2010! Wheeeeeee!!!

OK so our goals for the month of August were:

Me: weight 244, bg less than 100

Diana: weight 189, bg less than 100

Here is how we did:

Me: weight 246.6, bg 88

Diana: weight 190.4, bg 104

Neither of us completely made our weight loss goal. I had a mountain on my chart when Diana and the kids went to her mom's for a few days leaving me to clean. I have made a comeback, but it has been slow going. Diana was down to 189 but has popped up just a little bit the last two days. That is not too bad a thing because she has been losing fairly quickly the last couple of weeks.

Onto the blood glucose, I am so happy to see that 88! I have been worried that I would never return to the normal range no matter how much weight I lost or how careful I was! On top of that, I am so hungry this morning! Lower blood glucose equals hunger! What do you know!

Diana's 104 is the lowest fasting blood glucose that she has had since she was first diagnosed with diabetes years ago. I think she is eager to see the below 100 numbers too, but you have to be patient I think. I am sure that the work and perseverance she is giving her eating plan will pay off in the end, and for now, I am really celebrating that 104!

Our goals for September:

Me: weight 240, bg less than 100

Diana: weight 184, bg less than 100

I can't wait to see how we do!

Goal Post

2010-08-01T11:40:00.002-04:00

Goals for this month were:

Me: weight - 252, bg less than 100

Diana: weight - 196, bg less than 100

Results:

Me: weight 250.0, bg 107

Diana: weight 195.6, bg 115

We didn't make our bg goals, but we are doing great! Seeing Diana with the 115 makes me feel, so, so, so, so, so, so good! :D

Goals for next month:

Me: weight 244, bg less than 100

Diana: weight 189, bg less than 100

Diana Met a Goal!

2010-07-20T10:45:00.002-04:00

Today Diana weighed 198.6 lbs. She had a hard goal to weigh under 200 lbs. by her 40th birthday, July 22. It has not been easy for her to reach this goal! I am so proud of her!

I have to admit, for those who are organized and like keeping track of things on the computer, I highly recommend the program Diet Power. I was initially reluctant to invest in a paid program for something that is so similar to things that are available for free online. There are just enough extra useful features in Diet Power to make it well worth the money. (I like the fact that it adjusts your calories allowed per day based on your progress and that it has a calorie bank were you can accumulate calories for special occasions or treats.) Also, once you pay for something, there is an extra urge to use it.

Diana's total lost since she started on March 1, 2010 is 29.8 lbs. Way to go Diana!

The Benefits of Weight Loss

2010-07-19T09:07:00.002-04:00

Since I both started using the Diet Power program to record my food and decide my calorie levels, and started keeping my carb intake under 150 carbs a day, on February 1 of this year, I have lost 67 lbs. I thought I would record some of the changes that I attribute to both the dietary change and the weight loss.

1. I have more stamina! I don't feel like an invalid.

2. I sleep more comfortably in my bed.

3. I have a better center of balance.

4. I handle my FM symptoms better.

5. I handle stress better.

6. I can think more clearly and have more energy to delegate to both physical and mental activities.

7. I am less easily overwhelmed.

8. I look better in clothing. It is easier to find clothes that fit correctly.

9. I have less digestive upsets.

10. I have fewer "time of day" related moodiness spells.

Records

2010-07-01T08:58:00.003-04:00

July 1

Me: weight - 258.4, bg 106

Diana: weight - 202.4, bg 107

Goals

Me: weight - 252, bg less than 100

Diana: weight - 196, bg less than 100

Busy-ness

2010-06-08T19:24:00.002-04:00

I have been very busy this week getting ready to go to a conference next week. I have also been eating extra healthy. I have noticed a correlation. When I am busy, I just don't have time to overeat. It also helps that I tend to have a lot of healthy food just sitting around (including plenty of leftovers at the moment that I want to use up before we leave!)

Walking

2010-06-07T19:16:00.002-04:00

I took a three week break from my "speed" walks. It started when I acquired a particularly bad bout of poison ivy rash that incapacitated me. Then I got busy with birthday and anniversary celebrations, Memorial picnics, and planning for the conference that we will soon be attending. Today I was back on track. Although I had taken this three week break, I was hopeful that I would still do well. I have been losing weight, and in many ways, I feel healthier than I ever have!

I was a little bit disappointed. I completed the 1.4 miles in 29 minutes. Of course, this is actually quite good since I was stuck at 32 minutes for so long! Also I had no aches or pains, and I only found myself getting tired on the two especially steep uphill parts of the route. (I am proud to say that I didn't slow my pace on those stretches.) I definitely love my Soft Star shoes, and I'd say that I have adjusted to walking in them 100%.

Now, onto daily walks, I am seeing a long walk in my future, and I can't wait!

Nutrition

2010-06-05T14:44:00.002-04:00

I am going to be adding a few new foods to my diet. The first is low sodium V8 juice. I have never liked low sodium V8 juice, but since I am lowering my sodium in general, it may be more palatable now. It is the best way to improve my potassium intake without similarly raising my sodium intake. I am also adding Greek yogurt. I have not been a big yogurt fan in the past, but I don't hate it. I am going to first try some of the sweetened varieties that are not too high in carbs, and then work down to the plain. The third food fits in there. I need to eat more fiber. (Low carb sucks in the fiber department.) I am hoping to add some all bran type cereal without raising my carbs too much and without it tasting too bad. I was thinking the plain Greek yogurt, some high fiber cereal, and some berries might make a good lunch. If I can't get use to the yogurt, I could add a packet of aspartame based sweetener to take the edge off.

Hopefully these changes will increase both my potassium levels and my fiber levels!

A Long Walk

2010-06-05T14:36:00.003-04:00

I don't think that I have written about it here in this blog before, but I have an idea that I would like to take some long walks. By long walks, I don't mean an hour or two, I mean walks that could last possibly months. I like the idea of walking in the woods in near solitude, but I also like the idea of long road walks through small towns seeing what there is too see. Traveling by foot is very appealing to me!

It is funny, but I never saw my speed walks and the goals associated with them as having anything to do with my "long walk" ideas. It just recently hit me though that if I felt in good enough shape I could take some shorter walks to lead up to a really long one. Maybe just an overnight walk or a weekend walk or even just a whole day walk but with some real distance to travel. The thought is exciting to me. It could possibly happen this fall or even next summer is cool! Diana has also requested that I walk with her 30 minutes today. If I manage a 30 minute walk each day with Diana and my 30 minute speed walk 4 or 5 times a week, I should make some real progress towards me goal! (The weight loss helps too. Just losing weight makes walking easier even if I don't exercise. There is nothing like lugging around 300+ pounds to make a quick walk a real workout!)

Records

2010-06-03T07:52:00.002-04:00

June First

Me - 265.4 lbs. 97 bg

Diana - 209 lbs. 122 bg

Goals for July First

Me - 259 lbs. >100 bg

Diana - 203 lbs. >122 bg

Nutrition Goals

2010-05-26T20:39:00.000-04:00

I am proud of the progress I have made in improving my nutrition. Although my saturated fat and cholesterol intake are still on the high side, I have lowered them significantly, and perhaps more importantly, I have improved my saturated fat/polyunsaturated fat ratio. I have also significantly lowered my sodium intake although it is still high. Quite honestly, on the type of low carb diet I am eating, I am not sure if I can do any better in these areas that I have already done so I am just going to continue with my present program to keep the levels where they are.

My next concern is potassium. I consistently only get about half the recommended daily allowance. This is especially bad since I routinely get twice as much sodium as I should. Potassium blunts sodium's ability to raise your blood pressure. The problem is that even though most plant based foods (including coffee) include potassium, and salmon which I typically eat once a week, you need to eat a lot of plant based food to add up to enough. Bananas are known for being high in potassium, but it would take 10 a day to reach my recommended allowance. A vegetarian would be able to do this more easily.

I have been spending some time today researching good sources of potassium and thinking about solutions to this problem. I don't think that we should take a supplement. We are trying to limit supplements in favor of food. This is timely research also because as we lose weight, we are finding that we have to cut out calories back more, and the easiest way to do that is to substitute veggies (and to a lesser extent fruit) for some of the meat and dairy products that we have been eating. I want to target those veggies and fruits to be ones that are high in potassium.

Here are the things that I intend to add in greater quantities to our diet - low-sodium V-8 juice, avocados, brussel sprouts (we already eat a lot of these), and spinach. I also want to look into the possibility of eating Greek style yogurt which is high in potassium. It has fewer carbs than other yogurts, and I may like it with the frozen berries that we have been eating off and on this winter.

Books

2010-05-23T15:20:00.000-04:00

A while back, I wrote about books that had a big influence on my life. There was one that I couldn't remember the exact title of or find anywhere online at that point (although my memories of it were vivid!) I have since found it and wanted to mention it here.

The book was called Single Again, and it was by Mildred Hope Witkin. In the crowd of books directed at people who have divorced or become widowed or separated from a longterm relationship, it really stood out! The book was written with the intended audience of women over 50 who had divorced or become widowed, but I think this book would be excellent for anyone who is at a place in their life where they are feeling a little lost or not quite sure where to go, or anyone who finds themselves on a road that was not the one they originally planned on being on. The book is about forgetting about your original life plan and your long held dreams, and finding out who you really are and what you really want. It is about not giving up when things aren't going exactly where you want to go.

Although I was not over 50, and I still had young children at home, I was able to use the exercises in this book to my benefit. In many ways, I still use the activities and lessons that it taught me in both my day to day life and my plans for the future. If you're looking for a reason to keep on living, check this one out regardless of your situation. I do not think that you will be disappointed!

I never posted this on the first due to poison ivy so here it is now!

2010-05-23T12:57:00.000-04:00

Here it is the first day of a new month, and I am always so excited to look at my progress. Our goals for this month were:

Me - to weigh under 280 and to keep my fasting bg under 100

Diana - to weigh under 214 and to get her bg under 120

How did we do? Well, I weighed in at 277, three pounds under goal. My fasting blood glucose this morning was 104 though! I was a little upset. I went back over my nutrition profile. Last month, I averaged 117 grams of carbs a day, and this month, I averaged 118 grams of carbs a day. That is not a significant difference. A lot of things could account for the higher blood glucose reading. It could be a normal variation (although normal variations tend to be limited to a 5 mg difference, and mine is up 6 mg from 98 last month). It could be the stress of having a cold. (I don't have enough experience tracking my blood glucose to know if this is a factor with me.) It could be that last month's reading was an anomaly, and I am still running in the pre-diabetic range.

My action plan is to keep losing weight, and as an extra precaution, spend a day tracking my blood glucose to check for abnormal highs. If I have other abnormal highs, I may decide to be more careful with my diet. (Edit: I did spend a day tracking, and my numbers were all within the normal non-diabetic range so I am not worried. I may have my A1C tested at some point in the future for more data though.)

Diana weighed in this morning at 213. Way to go Diana! I was especially proud of her reaching this goal this month because she has really been struggling with sticking to her calorie goals and correspondingly losing weight this month. In the end, she stuck with it and came through! Diana's blood glucose we 123. Not quite reaching the goal I wrote, but I still think that it is really, really good! She has finally entered the pre-diabetic range. I don't plan on changing anything in Diana's program. I believe that with continued weight loss she will continue to reduce her bg levels until she sees normal. Next month, she will have her A1C tested to see how her overall blood glucose is improving.

Now for this month's goals!

Me - to weigh under 271 and to get my fasting bg back under 100

Diana - to weigh under 208 and to get her fasting bg under 120

Random data for my records:

This month - calories 2018, carb 117

concerns - saturated fat 169, cholesterol 146, sodium 230, potassium 49, fiber 59, iron 84, magnesium 90

Last month - calories 1917, carb 118

concerns - saturated fat 180 (yay is down), polyunsaturated fat 78 (yay is up to target), cholesterol 155 (yay is down), sodium 279 (yay is down), potassium 53 (boo is down), fiber 65 (boo is down), iron 78 (yay is up), magnesium was fine this month (I know why it is down and how to fix it)

(Edit: I will be writing about some of my extended nutrition goals here soon!)

Exercise Triumph

2010-04-28T15:08:00.002-04:00

Last week, I only made it out on my 1.4 mile "increase my speed" walk twice. I was a bit sad about this, but not too much, because it is not one of my hard and fast goals. It is just something to motivate me to do cardiovascular exercise by thinking of how nice it would be to be able to keep up with people of normal weight and normal leg length on uphill hikes.

Early this week, Diana hinted that perhaps I should go for my walk before it got dark. Actually she just asked, "Are you going to go for a walk now before it gets dark.?" She may not have meant anything by it, but it felt really weird to me and definitely unmotivated me. I have been sick and sticking to the diet, recording the food, and attempting to make strides in the direction of a clean house are the first priorities. If it gets too dark to go for a walk before I am done with the other things, then I just don't do it that day. So far it has worked for me. I do not want any encouragement from anyone to walk more. I am hard enough on myself.

Anyways, yesterday was my first walk day this week and once again it took 31 minutes. I was really starting to feel like I would never do better than that! I was wrong. I walked again today and hit 29 minutes!!! I only need to improve by one more minute to move on to a longer walk all the way to the cemetery. :D

Walking

2010-04-20T22:42:00.003-04:00

Today I took my walk much later than usual. It was nearly dark by the time that I got home.

On my walk, I saw a pick up truck with two saplings in the back, lots of healthy evergreens (I am envious 'cause ours are all dying and I don't know why), children playing with a remote controlled car, a girl riding a scooter & a man riding an ATV, a pile of rocks by the side of the road that I had never noticed before but I am sure it must have been there for a long time, and lots and lots of daffodils in bloom!

On my walk, I heard the elusive veery that I hope to see someday, lots of dogs barking, a handful of kids playing, some very noisy vehicles, and a variety of birds singing in the twilight.

On my walk, I smelled BBQ's making me hungry, sawdust & woodchips, and fresh cut grass.

On my walk, I felt cold air making my fingers tingly and my lungs sting by the time I was done.

Pet Peeve

2010-04-19T22:49:00.001-04:00

I hate it when cars honk their horns at me when I am out for my exercise walk. I walk in a rural area without sidewalks. I walk on the left side facing traffic, and when cars are coming, I stay about three feet past the white line on the shoulder. No one need honk their horn at me! The really annoying part if when cars coming behind me in the other lane honk their horns at me! Are they afraid that I am suddenly out of the blue going to dart across the street?

Please, do not honk your horns at innocent pedestrians who are walking safely, following all of the rules of the road. It is quite startling, and I have nearly fallen in the ditch on occasion when I jumped in alarm.

Exercise

2010-04-17T22:27:00.001-04:00

Today I managed my usual mostly uphill 1.4 mile walk. It took 32 minutes and that was with a delay when traffic got bad at one point. I hope to hit 28 minutes soon! Unfortunately, I only managed two walks this week (Monday & Saturday). It should be easy to top that with three this upcoming week.

Nutrition Progress

2010-04-15T21:58:00.002-04:00

I have been having some success with improving my nutrition. My saturated fat/polyunsaturated fat ratio is slowly improving. My cholesterol intake is dropping. (I only had 137 mg today!) My sodium intake is also dropping although I believe that this is one of the hardest things to reduce. I already don't salt my food before eating it, and I use very little salt in cooking, and I am still taking in over 3000 mg a day. This is down from around 4500 mg when I started, but still more than twice the amount that I would like to have.

One difficulty is eating out. In the past, we have not eaten out a lot, but lately, it seems that we are eating out all the time, and we have two eating out occasions scheduled in the next week! I really don't know how to decrease the sodium on these occasions. My best hope at the moment is to even it out by having even less at home. I am going to try some sodium free seasonings to improve the flavor of food for all of us. I tend to only use salt in recipes when I think that the rest of my family is going to miss it.

Exercise Update

2010-04-14T23:14:00.002-04:00

Exercising every day or nearly every day (I'd be happy with 5 or 6 days a week) still remains a challenge. My walk takes me between 31 and 34 minutes at this point. You would think I could consistently find that much time to spend walking during daylight hours, but I don't. I still must not be making it a real priority. Improving my walking speed is very important to me so I need to make these excursions a priority too!

Random Recipe

2010-04-13T23:05:00.002-04:00

In our quest for healthy, low carb meals, we eat a lot of stir fries. This was my creation tonight.

String Bean and Shrimp Stir-fry

1 16 oz. bag Prince Edward Island Blend Vegetables (green beans, wax beans, & carrots)

1 12 oz. bag fully cooked shrimp

1 onion coarsely chopped

3 4 oz. cans of sliced mushrooms, drained

1/4 c. canola oil

1/2 t. salt

1/8 t. black pepper

Heat the oil in a large, heavy sauté pan over medium heat. Add the vegetables and the onion. Cook stirring occasionally until the onion is soft and starting to brown. While the vegetables are cooking, run the shrimp under warm water to defrost and remove the tails. When the vegetables are ready add the mushrooms, the shrimp, and the salt and pepper. Continue cooking until it is hot through (about three more minutes).

Dealing with Denial

2010-04-10T09:37:00.002-04:00

Radically changing your diet isn't easy even if it is done with a lot of logic, by baby steps, and in the name of being healthier, feeling better, and having a longer life. There are those times when you are going to have a part of you screaming for those very things you really don't want to put in your body. There are times when you are going to be resentful of not being able to eat the way that you did in the past or that you perceive that others are eating around you. There are going to be times when you are hungry and your choices are limited or none. There are going to be times when you mourn what was with an intensity that may bring tears to your eyes.

How do I feel about all of this? This morning, I am having a not easy time. I woke up with my stomach growling and the desire to eat a lot of whatever I could get. I didn't do that though. I did the things that were necessary to help my girlfriend get off to a craft show, and I rested a bit. Then I decided to start the laundry and shower keeping to my usual morning routine. I took care of the baby. (Our grandson Benji is visiting.) Then I made myself a cup of coffee and heated up some mini quiche. I have been eating Luna bars for breakfast most mornings, but I knew that today I wanted something warm and rich so the quiche it was. I have finished and still feel a hungry, gnawing emptiness inside. I am not going to eat though. I know that I am not really hungry.

I am becoming a person who doesn't overeat. I am becoming a person who watches my carbs. To a certain extent, the action part of this "becoming" happened overnight. The inside change is far more slow though. Throughout it all is a mourning process. I think it is similar to the stages of grief that psychologists use to talk about mourning the loss of a loved one.

I have had the denial. In my case, it was very short lived. Diana has diabetes. I had had "pre-denial" with her. There is a feeling that maybe the test results are wrong. There is a feeling that maybe it isn't really so bad. I still look for research supporting a "do nothing-high blood glucose is not so bad" theory. It just isn't there. Seeing the results of poorly controlled diabetes in both Diana's stepfather and her father really keep me from returning to denial too often.

I have had anger. Again, perhaps I am lucky, because any anger related to my situation was very short lived because I had done it all before with Diana. Why does Diana have to watch what she eats? Why does she have to have a horrible disease? It isn't fair! The truth is that lots of other people have worse problems. Those thoughts keep me from returning to anger for too long. I would rather have diabetes than not be able to walk. I would rather have diabetes than have unpredictable seizures. I would rather have diabetes than have one of my children die. I would rather have diabetes than be horribly disfigured. There are others who may have any one of those negative life situation that I mentioned who very well may say, I'd rather have be me than have diabetes, but I am sure that you can see my point. Everyone is different, and no one has everything easy.

I have had bargaining. Maybe I can just switch to whole grains, and everything will be OK. Maybe if I lose weight then I will be able to pig out. Maybe if I am a very good girl, all of this will fade into the background and being healthy will become easy again. The fact is that I will have to watch what I eat for the rest of my life. I will not be able to over eat. I will not be able to eat a lot of carbs. If I lose weight, I may be able to eat more carbs and have more treats on occasion than I do now, but I will never be able to go back to being a person who overeats or a person who doesn't watch their carb intake on some level. Not like I was before.

I have had depression. Matter of fact, I have had some this morning when I am overtired, and the not overeating and the carb watching, just seem to be extra things that I don't want to have to deal with. I am sad. I am so glad that I have spent a lot of time this past year studying mindfulness and positivity though. Without those, I am sure that I would have given up on this diet change before the first week was up. When the depression creeps up, I need to work harder on the mindfulness. I need to find the positive in the moment. I need to know that life is worth it even when it is hard. I think of the joy of climbing a mountain, intimacy with my partner, playing with my grandson, being a helper and support person for my children, just standing on my own two feet in the sunshine not feeling too unhealthy to enjoy the moment. Those things are what keep me out of depression. I have depressive tendencies, so this will be the most difficult "stage" for me to leave behind.

Do I have acceptance? I like to think so. I have moments of acceptance. It is not a steady journey though. There is a lot of bouncing around. I believe that the moments of acceptance will grow and grow until I truly am that person who doesn't overeat and who watches their carbs both inside and out. I am already a person with diabetes. I am determined to be a person with diabetes who lives a long and healthy life with no complications. In order to do that, I need to keep my blood glucose levels under tight control. That is my goal.

Nutrition Goals Revisited

2010-04-08T21:52:00.002-04:00

I have been fairly successful raising my polyunsaturated fat intake and lowering my saturated fat intake. Today I had walnuts.

After analyzing my diet yesterday, I came to the conclusion that the only way that I could lower my intake of cholesterol would be to not have meat, dairy, or eggs at every single meal and snack. Of course, I am not going to be full enough if I only have fruits or veggies or the small portion of whole grains that I can have and still keep my total carbs down so I am going to be using nuts and nut butters to round out my snack times. These are calorie rich items, but I do find that just 1/4 cup will keep me from getting hungry for a couple of hours. Today I was able to keep my cholesterol intake under 300, and that included having a mac snack wrap at McDonald's this afternoon, around 5 ounces of turkey for lunch, and a chicken breast for dinner as well as cream in my coffee. Lowering my cholesterol intake may be easier than I had originally thought.

Improving Nutrition Part 2

2010-04-06T20:08:00.002-04:00

Today I had a can of tuna for my afternoon snack. I had light tuna even though it has less omega 3's than albacore because it has also has less mercury and feels safer to me. (Not to mention the fact that it is also cheaper.)

The next "fail" in my nutrition profile is cholesterol. I have managed to bring my cholesterol intake down from an average of around 500 mg a day to an average of around 400 mg a day, but it is recommended that one have no more than 300 mg a day. The biggest sources of cholesterol in my diet have been eggs (which I actually eat very rarely), turkey and ham (which I get from the deli and have for lunch about half the time), cream (which I have in my coffee), chicken, shrimp, cheddar, and butter, all of which I often have as part of my dinner (although I have cut the amount of butter that I have way down.)

I don't have any specific ideas for further lowering the amount of cholesterol that I eat. Because I need to maintain a low carb diet to keep my blood glucose levels normal, I think that I will have to just be aware of those foods that are high in cholesterol and see what I can do slowly over time to improve this number.

Improving My Diet

2010-04-05T20:59:00.002-04:00

I have been using the Diet Power program for over two months now to record and evaluate my diet. I have made changes based on what the program tells me and what I know about good nutrition. The changes that I have made so far are eating less (I eat about 2000 calories a day and I was probably eating around 3000 before), eating less carbs (I eat around 150 grams a day now and I was probably eating around 300 grams a day before), supplementing with a calcium/Vitamin D/magnesium/zinc/copper/manganese supplement twice a day, supplementing with 400 i.u. of Vitamin E everyday, and greatly reducing the amount of added salt in the foods I eat.

There are some other areas of my diet that are not so great that I would like to improve on. The first is the ratio of saturated fat to polyunsaturated fat in my diet. Although I am not big on cutting one's saturated fats way down (which would be very difficult on a low carb diet anyways), I would like to see a better ratio in my own diet. A lot of research points to a correlation between replacing saturated fats with polyunsaturated fats and a reduction in the risk of heart disease. How do I intend to accomplish this? Well I am working on replacing most of the butter that I use in cooking (mostly sauteing) with canola oil. Canola oil is high in monosaturated fats as opposed to polyunsaturated fats, but it is still a good choice. Then I intend to increase the amount of fatty fish I eat to boost my omega 3 levels. In the past we have supplemented with fish oil, but we really like fish, and I think for now it might be better for our budget to concentrate on the fish. My goals are to eat salmon for dinner (2 pieces) at least once a week, to have another variety of fish a second night each week, and to have canned tuna for lunch three times a week. On the other two days, I will have 1/4 cup of walnuts to mix things up.

Tomorrow I will talk about some of my other nutrition goals. I am working on building healthy habits one baby step at a time!

Goals Extended

2010-04-03T00:38:00.001-04:00

I had been hoping to find some time these past couple of days to look at Diana's and my nutrition profiles to think about things that we can work at doing better on, but it really has been too busy! I will keep trying.

A New Month

2010-04-01T23:07:00.002-04:00

Diana and I were very successful last month and happy to see the results today! My fasting blood sugar was 98, and Diana's was 130. My weight was 286, and Diana's was 220.

Our goals for this month are:

Me - to weigh under 280 and to keep my fasting bg under 100

Diana - to weigh under 214 and to get her bg under 120

Tomorrow!!!

2010-03-31T22:51:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow is a "goal" day so Diana and I will be taking our fasting blood glucose levels. I think we will be happy with the results! :D

Busy

2010-03-30T19:52:00.001-04:00

I have several entries that I want to make here, but it seems my days are so full I am lucky if I can squeeze out a few words or a link! Things are going good here though. Maybe my time for some peace will be coming up soon...

Diet Power Update

2010-03-28T20:46:00.002-04:00

Things are going well here at Faerie Gardens. I am still successfully tracking all of the food that both I and Diana eat. It is not always easy, but I believe that it is worth it.

I am still only getting in 4 or 5 days a week of my exercise walk. I want to do better, but we have so many other things that we need to do that it is very hard to find the time.

I am looking forward to April 1 when I will see how well we have met our goals.

Should you supplement with Vitamin D?

2010-03-27T21:39:00.003-04:00

According to the results of two new studies it may be a good idea to at least have your levels tested.

The researchers found that patients who boosted their vitamin D levels to 43 nanograms per milliliter of blood or higher reduced their rates of diabetes, heart attack, heart failure, high blood pressure and heart disease. They were also less likely to die during the study period.

Check out the link for the full story as reported by HealthDay News!

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_96408.html

Learning to Walk: The Barefoot Movement

2010-03-25T15:34:00.003-04:00

I have long had a problem with shoes. I remember well the joy of summers as a kid when my feet were only forced into shoes on weekly trips to town and most of my time was spent running free in my bare feet. When summer would come to an end, my shoes would be long outgrown, and a trip to the store to purchase a new pair or two for school would be called for.

Oh, how I hated those trips! Shoes never fit me right. They were uncomfortable. My feet were too wide and fat and short. I hated arch supports. They were so uncomfortable, and it seemed that all of the shoes but the cheapest would have them, and the cheapest shoes were so unfashionable, and in my school, people with the wrong shoes were teased mercilessly.

Fast forward to my adult years. With weight gain and stretched connective tissue from six pregnancies, my feet were harder to find shoes for than ever. Add to that, the fact that I am a pedestrian at heart, and you can start to see where my problem with footwear comes from. Dress shoes are impossible to find. For ages, I have been wearing white or black sneakers with my dresses on fancy occasions. Even wide width sandals aren't wide enough for my feet, and although I have been able to find some sneakers that I can wear, they have never been comfortable.

A couple of years ago, something happened that changed the way I viewed footwear. My girlfriend offered me the chance to wear her slightly too large slip on shoes one day at the beach when I didn't have my shoes with me. They were slightly too narrow although a couple of sizes too big, but stretchy enough that I could get my feet into them. Wow! They were comfortable. They had extremely flexible soles, and it was almost like I wasn't wearing shoes.

Unfortunately those shoes wore out, and I couldn't find anything similar. In my search for perfection, I wandered into the men's section and found some size 9 black slip on's that would have to do. They didn't have flexible soles, and they felt rather like I was wearing a cardboard box on my foot, but they were large enough that I had enough width and a couple of inches past my toes to get that barefoot feel. This spring they were wearing out, and I knew I needed something new, but I couldn't bear to buy another pair of those "cardboard boxes."

Enter Soft Star Shoes. My very generous girlfriend purchased a pair of adult ramblers for me. Wow! They are unlike any shoes that I have ever worn before. I will be doing a more detailed review in another entry, but I just want to say that wearing them is awfully close to going barefoot with the protection and grip of a rubber sole.

Since getting the soft star shoes, I have been doing a little research and have found that it is now known that shoes basically make you walk wrong, even high tech running shoes (especially high tech running shoes.) If you want to know more, check out this link!

http://nymag.com/health/features/46213/index5.html

Exercise

2010-03-24T23:16:00.001-04:00

I am still holding steady at completing my walk in 32 minutes. I find it very frustrating that I can't go faster.

Exercise Goals Revisited

2010-03-22T15:26:00.003-04:00

As I stated before, I have a rather informal goal to be able to walk 4 miles in one hour by the first day of autumn. I have broken that up into smaller goals.

Right now, I am walking 1.4 miles as many days a week as I can fit in (usually 4 but I hope to increase), over half uphill, some rather steep. My best time is 32 minutes, but usually I make it in 33. When I can do it in 28 minutes, I am going to increase my daily walk to 2.1 miles. (I am using interesting landmarks and places to go to make this more fun for me.) Those are my short term goals.

Inspirational Reads

2010-03-22T11:34:00.004-04:00

In 1999, I found myself a recently separated woman with four very young children and a precocious 11 year old in low income housing in the center of a declining mid-size northeastern city trying to live each day with positivity but often struggling inside myself to be OK. One of my greatest pleasures was my every other week trip to the downtown library sans kids while they visited their father. The library has a browse-about section where the books are group by genres or topics, and I, being who I am, felt it necessary (and enjoyable) to browse every single section every single time I was there. One of those sections was devoted to self-help books, and occasionally a book there would catch my eye and find its way home with me.

Most of those books couldn't hold my attention. A few I read but found not so much of the material applicable to me. A couple stood out. I thought I would share those today.

The first is A Gift of A Year by Mira Kirshenbaum. The premise of this book is that we can each improve our lives by choosing to devote a small amount of time on a regular basis to an activity or goal for a year. For example, you may choose to take weekly piano lessons and practice each day for an hour if you have always wanted to play the piano. Your gift need not be so simple or so obvious though. One example in the book is of someone who has owns a restaurant and spends a lot of time running it. Her gift to herself was to dedicate a certain amount of time each week to properly training others to take over many of her responsibilities ultimately giving herself more free time.

Although I did not exactly follow the plan presented in this book, I did incorporate many of the ideas presented into my life, and when I feel stuck, I often think about this book wondering if there is a gift that I need to give myself. I highly recommend this book to everyone, but especially to those of you who feel stuck in some way and may need a plan or even permission to give yourself a gift that can increase your pleasure this year.

The second is Wishcraft by Barbara Sher. Barbara Sher has written a host of excellent self help books, and this is her first, and in my opinion her best. This is not because it is the most polished or even has the best advice, but because it is written so soon after her own struggle to find her niche and to create a happy life (which included finding her own career calling - being a career coach). The book just vibrates with realism, and is optimistic and positive without becoming too fake or flakey. Working through many of the exercises in this book helped me cement goals, drop goals, and achieve goals. I can't recommend it enough!

Diabetes and Coffee Consumption

2010-03-21T09:24:00.001-04:00

Several studies have shown a correlation between drinking coffee and having a reduced risk for type 2 diabetes. The first study of this type was done in Finland, and the results were published in 2004. This particular study kept track of how much coffee people drank and controlled the groups for body mass index, age, blood pressure, alcohol consumption, tea consumption, education, occupation, and amount of physical activity. Even after controlling for all those factors, there was a graduated correlation between coffee consumption and decrease in the rate of being diagnosed with type 2 diabetes during the 12 years that the study took place. This means that not only were coffee drinkers less likely to develop type 2 diabetes, the more coffee they drank, the less likely they were to develop it. Those who drank 10 or more cups a day had the smallest risk.

No one had a reason for this outcome. It didn't seem to be related to caffeine intake because it didn't matter if the coffee was caffeinated or not!

As a follow-up, there was a look at the data from the Nurses' Health Study and Health Professionals' Follow-up study. These were huge studies with well over 50,000 people involved mainly through validated questionnaires over an 18 year period. When that data was looked at the results were the same as the Finnish study. That is that coffee drinking correlated with a decreased risk in type 2 diabetes, and the more coffee the subjects drank the less the risk. Because of the large number of people in this study, they were better able to look at those who drank only decaffeinated coffee too. Although those people also had a decreased risk, it was not as great as for those who drank regular coffee with caffeine. Also looked at was caffeine intake in general. This showed a graduated decrease in risk too with those taking in the most caffeine on a regular basis showing the greatest decrease in risk.

There are two theories surrounding this phenomenon and both may be part of the reason that we see this decrease. The first is that regularly drinking coffee correlates with other things that are also decreasing the diabetes risk. Those who drink caffeinated coffee are likely to fidget and do other small types of physical activity that would not show up on physical activity level charts. Also if you are drinking coffee, you are less likely to be drinking high carb beverages that might be worse for you. Coffee acts as an appetite suppressant, and those who drink it may have better control over their food choices also. The second theory is that the quinines in coffee are providing this effect. Quinines have been shown to increase insulin sensitivity in rats so that the rats do not need as much insulin to process blood glucose properly.

Either way, should everyone drink a lot of coffee to reduce their risk of diabetes? Well at this point, I do not recommend it. I think each individual should eat and drink the things that make him or her feel the healthiest. If you already have a coffee habit, and it doesn't cause any problems in your life, go ahead and enjoy knowing that you just might be doing yourself some good.

I personally drink between 12 oz. and 32 oz. of caffeinated coffee each day just because I like it.

Type 2 Diabetes: Is it for life or can you recover?

2010-03-20T21:48:00.000-04:00

This is a tricky question. There are people who are diagnosed with with type 2 diabetes who lose a lot of weight or significantly change their diet and then no longer meet the criteria for the diagnosis of diabetes. If one of those people was to go to a new doctor with no history of their past, the doctor would not say that they had diabetes.

My previous stance had been that these people no longer had diabetes. I have changed my stance though. After much thought, research, and experience with those who have type 2 diabetes, I think once you have hit the fasting BG of 120 or higher point, you have diabetes for life. The thing is, you may be controlling your diabetes by keeping your weight down or by eating less carbs, but if you go back to your prior weight or eating habits, your blood glucose will go back up again.

This is useful information too. It is important that those health care professionals that you come in contact with know that you have had a problem with high blood glucose in the past and that you are controlling it with whatever methods you are using. For one thing, when your blood glucose was out of control, you could have developed the beginning stages of complications that your doctor will be able to diagnose more easily with this information. Also, if you are admitted to a hospital (even for something totally unrelated like a broken leg), you will want to make sure that those taking care of you understand how important it is to maintain your chosen diet.

Having said all that, I do think that is it is possible for most type 2 diabetics to control their blood glucose through a carefully chosen diet and exercise alone. I also think that with weight loss their symptoms might diminish to the point that they don't have to worry so much about the level of carbs that they are eating. That doesn't mean that you don't have diabetes anymore. It just means that you are successful at controlling it through keeping your weight down.

Supplements Revisited

2010-03-19T22:20:00.000-04:00

Using an analysis of what we are eating and current research on the benefits and possible side effects of various supplements, Diana and I are currently taking a 600 mg calcium plus 400 IU vitamin D supplement morning and night, and 400 IU of vitamin E each morning. We may add fish oil for both of us and iron for Diana in the future.

To Nap or Not to Nap

2010-03-18T20:56:00.000-04:00

I hate naps! It doesn't matter how tired I am or how much I am falling asleep while I try to do other things, I resist naps as hard as I can. Not only do I hate spending some of my daytime sleeping, I always feel horrible when I wake up from a nap. I am the crankiest that I ever am! It just feels like everything in the world is wrong! So I am opposed to naps for me.

On the other hand, lots of research shows that naps are good for people. They are suppose to refresh you and give you extra energy in the second part of the day. Regular nappers are smarter, quicker, and more alert. All I can say to this is that perhaps we are just not all the same.

So if naps make you feel better, go ahead and take them, but if you are like me, don't feel guilty about getting all of your sleep at night even if you sometimes get tired during the day.

Exercise

2010-03-15T09:06:00.000-04:00

If you hang around so called weight loss experts, nutritionists, and various exercise specialists long enough, you will hear a lot of conflicting information about the benefits of exercise. I find it extremely frustrating that so many people spout information as if it is fact, when at the best it is an educated guess and at worst it is completely false. So I am going to list some of the benefits of exercise, and then discuss the available data that supports or doesn't support these benefits as well as exactly what sorts of exercise really will lead to a specific benefit.

1. Exercise reduces levels of depression. There have been a lot of studies that show that when someone who is depressed begins a regular exercise regimen, their depression lessens. The major problem with these studies is that they often do not include a control group, and that those depressed patients who choose to follow an exercise regimen are possibly at the point where they were about to move out of depression anyways and that those who choose not to are not.

After reviewing the available research, I conclude that longitudinal studies show that those who participate in regular aerobic exercise (defined as 3 periods per week of exercise in which the heart rate is elevated to at least 60% of one's maximum heart rate for at least 30 minutes) are less likely to suffer from depression, anxiety, or the effects of stress. This is not quite the same as saying that exercise cures those who are already depressed. I certainly don't think it can hurt though!

2. Exercise causes weight loss. Everyone knows that exercise leads to weight loss, right? Burn more calories than you have been, and you are bound to lose weight! The truth is that it is not quite so simple. Our bodies are complicated, and many variables are involved in how our metabolism works and how we digest and use our food. The real stickler is that exercise makes you hungry! The results of several studies the have been published in the last couple of years have shown that not only is there no correlation between exercise and weight loss, people who exercise more consistently eat more also.

Before writing this article, I was aware of some of this research from Diana's diabetes training, but I have gone and read a lot more today, and the results of these studies are shocking! In one study, approximately 500 overweight women were randomly assigned to four groups. Three of the groups worked out with a personal trainer for varying times each week. The fourth group was a control group. All of the groups filled out food diaries (although they were not told to change their eating patterns) and had their weights regularly monitored. The study lasted 6 months. All four groups lost some weight, but there was no significant difference between the groups. Basically you could say that simply filling out the food diaries and having weights monitored were the causes of the weight loss. Those in the various exercise groups ate more than the non-exercisers and those exercising less.

In another study, children who went to three different elementary schools with different intensities of physical education programs wore a special monitor for one month showing their overall activity levels. They wore the monitor during all of their waking hours. This study lasted a month. At the end of the month, it was found that the actual activity levels of all of the students were the same. Although those students with a longer and more intense physical education program were more active during the school day, they were far less likely to be active in the after school hours, than those students with less physical activity during the day. It seems that not only does an organized exercise program make us more hungry, we are also less likely to be normally active at other times to make up for it!

Those were just the tip of the iceberg. It surprises me that we don't hear more about this in the media. Now, how do I feel? It does seem that people who are normally active people are more likely to lose weight than those who tend more towards sedentary activities. So although you don't need a hard and vigorous exercise program to lose weight, it is a good idea to choose active play on occasion over sedentary play.

3. Exercise helps maintain an ideal weight. Although exercise may not help you lose weight, several longitudinal studies show that those who are the best at maintaining a weight loss are those who exercise for at least 60 minutes everyday. Note that this exercise did not seem to need to be aerobic nor did it need to involve weight training. Simply brisk walking was good enough. This correlation is a good enough reason for me to recommend that everyone try to be active for at least one hour a day.

4. Exercise reduces the risk of heart disease. Another thing that everyone knows is that exercise reduces your risk of heart disease. The most common recommendation is to perform aerobic exercise for a minimum of 30 minutes at a time at least five times a week. This recommendation is supported by research. Note that there needs to be aerobic intensity for the actual cardiovascular benefit to occur. Those who exercise longer and harder up to 90 minutes a day, 6 days a week have even more improvement in their cardiovascular health, and adding 30 minutes a week of strength training decreases the risk of heart disease even more.

My feeling are that for the general population 90 minutes devoted to cardiovascular exercise most days is an unrealistic goal and could even lead to an overall decreased quality of life. I do think that regular aerobic exercise at least five times a week for at least 30 minutes is a good idea especially if you have other risk factors for heart disease.

*****

There are other purported benefits to exercise such as increased energy levels, better sleep, and an improved sex life, but I think that I covered the main four above. As you can see, advice can be conflicting, and it can be difficult to know what is the right path to take. I really think each individual needs to assess their own situation and think about what is best for them. Be aware of yourself, and how you respond to exercise. Choose activity over inactivity, but before choosing a more formal program, weigh the pros and cons allowing yourself to make the decision that is best for you!

Busy, Busy, Busy and an Interesting Article Link

2010-03-12T11:03:00.005-05:00

My life seems to have taken a busy turn, and writing here everyday has not been doable lately. I have continued using the Diet Power nutrition program to track my food and exercise, and that of my partner. We are both showing modest weight loss, and I have shown a blood glucose reduction. Next month, we will know how my partner is doing in that area.

I saw an interesting article today. The results of yet another weight reduction study have been released.

I quote:

MONDAY, March 1 (HealthDay News) -- Three years after going on a diet, obese men and women on low-carbohydrate "Atkins"-type plans had gained back nearly all their weight, while those on low-fat diets continued to lose, new research finds.
Neither group ended up model-thin, however: Three years out, the low-carb dieters were a mere five pounds thinner and the low-fat group about 10 pounds slimmer than when they began.
The study is published in the March 2 issue of the Annals of Internal Medicine.

The complete article can be accessed at http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_95861.html . The thing that interests me the most about this article is that both groups lost less than 10 lbs. in a three year period. All of the articles that I am finding about this study are emphasizing the fact that the low fat diet beat out the low carbohydrate diet! My point is, should anyone be following either of these rather extreme diets in the hope that they might lose 5 or 10 lbs. in three years?

I also want to note that those in the low carb diet were encouraged to follow a very strict low carb regimen (less than 30 carbs a day.) This is extremely difficult to do in our society. Most people with type 2 diabetes can control it with a much more moderate low carb diet (75-150 carbs a day.) This is a more realistic solution in the face of a deadly disease with complications that can greatly lower your quality of life.

I would like to see more studies that focus on comparing diets in relation to factual health markers (blood glucose, serum cholesterol, high blood pressure, kidney function) as opposed to weight loss. Our society's obsession with weight loss has blinded us to the things that truly matter.

Goals

2010-03-04T07:52:00.003-05:00

I am still getting in the habit of helping Diana with her food and tracking it on the Diet Power program. That takes up quite a bit of my time, and I find myself with not as much time to write here. I also have started walking more regularly. (The spring weather is calling to me.) That takes up another 30 - 45 minutes. While I was out walking yesterday, I started thinking about goals.

I don't think I wrote my goals for this month here yet. By April 1, I would like to be under 288 lbs. (I weighed 292.4 this morning.) Also I would like my fasting blood sugar to be under 110. Those are modest goals I think. Especially since I have been cutting my carbs way back this month to match up with Diana.

I was also thinking about an exercise goal. I am not yet up to a point where I want to think that I will be walking any distance at any speed any particular day. (I am a great walker for endurance, but with my short legs and extra pounds, my default speed is only 2 mph. It can be worse if I am going up a lot of hills.) I would like to see myself able to walk 4 miles in an hour. That would be pretty speedy with my short legs. I am thinking in my head that it might also be an attainable goal by the end of the summer. Maybe before the autumnal equinox. This is not a definite goal, with consequences, that I am really holding onto, but just something that I think I will be working on.

2010-03-02T23:07:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was the first day that I used Diet Power to keep track of Diana's food intake. It was a bit of work, but I feel like I am more getting the hang of it and learning to flow today. We had challenges both days. Yesterday we got up far earlier than either of us usually do and went to get our car inspected and then grocery shopped. Today we had company for an impromptu birthday party for dinner. I don't mind the challenges because this is how the real world works, and any nutrition plan that doesn't work in the real world doesn't work period!

Diana is working hard at keeping her carb total under 85 grams everyday. It is not easy yet, but she has seen success and even had a weight loss her first day to encourage her to continue. We have also exercised together both days. It makes me feel great to get moving even when aches and pains occur. I just feel so alive to be outside in the early spring with my heart rate rising, and the sun shining on my head as the wind stings my cheeks.

I saw more weight loss today with a morning weight of 291.2 lbs. I think it is surprising that I am losing so much weight so easily. I am for the most part still eating over 2000 calories per day. I am not sure if it is the slight calorie reduction or the low carbs that have helped, but I am so glad for whatever it is!

Yay!!!

2010-03-01T17:44:00.002-05:00

Today I weighed 294, and my blood sugar was 117. I call that a success!

Random Weigh-In

2010-02-28T22:32:00.001-05:00

Today I weighed 293.6. This is the lowest that I have weighed in at least 2 years.

Then I proceeded to have the fourth day of my extra busy extra long weekend, so I don't have any more to write here! Tomorrow is the last day of my super busy extra long weekend. It is also the day that Diana starts diet power, and that I do my progress check. I am excited to see how I have done!

Two Days, No Post

2010-02-27T19:32:00.001-05:00

This is a very busy extended weekend, and I have been going full speed since Thursday! I am not sure how much I can write today, but I will try to write something.

Here it is 7:00 p.m., and I am writing something. Today I attended a surprise birthday party for my mom, and it was fun and included a lot of tasty food although some of it was slanted in a healthy direction. Now that all is said and done though, my calories are pretty high at 2253, and I think I am going to have some warm strawberries for dessert so I think they will be just a little bit higher for the day.

It would be easy to beat myself up for eating too much, but I am not going to because the truth is that in the past I would have eaten a LOT more. I also limited carb rich foods to 1/2 a cup of macaroni and cheese, and 1/2 a piece of cake. I would have had a whole piece of cake in the past and maybe a second whole piece, and probably seconds on the macaroni and cheese, and definitely bread too!

After I have my strawberries (and maybe a calcium pill if I have need), I will put a summary here!

Summary

Calories - 2326

Fat - 138 grams

Carbs - 144 grams

Protein - 133 grams

Weekly Summary - Third Week

2010-02-24T12:00:00.002-05:00

Average

Calories - 2122

Fat - 112 grams

Carbs - 157 grams

Protein - 133 grams

Need more - mono-unsaturated fats, potassium, fiber, iron, Vitamin E, and probably protein if I am going to stay at the higher calorie level

Need less - cholesterol and sodium (these two goals seem nearly impossible at this point though!)

Ending Weight - 294.6 lbs.

Next week I will be testing my sugar! Wish me luck!

Daily Summary

2010-02-24T10:16:00.006-05:00

8:45 Breakfast - 3.6 oz. ham cooked in 1 tsp. butter, 1.1 oz. pepper relish chips, 1/2 navel orange, 12 oz. coffee with 1 tbsp. heavy cream & 1 packet aspartame

11:45 Beverage - 12 oz. coffee with 1 tbsp. heavy cream & 1 packet aspartame

3:15 Lunch - 6 inch turkey sub at Subway on honey oat bread with tomatoes, onion, green peppers, cucumbers, pickles, a little lettuce, and sweet onion sauce; 20 oz. diet cola

6:00 Snack - 1.1 oz. turkey nuggets (dried turkey like beef jerky), .8 oz. pork rinds, 12 oz. Diet Dr. Thunder

8:00 Dinner - 2 biscuits, 6.3 oz. turkey salad (turkey & miracle whip), .7 oz. carrot sticks, 12 oz. diet birch beer

Exercise - 14 minutes light snow shoveling (although it was heavy wet snow so it may be more than *light*; I call it light if I am not moving fast; all snow shoveling is aerobic for me)

I also walked over a mile hanging out while waiting for our van to get a new windshield. I am not counting it as extra exercise though because I didn't really pay attention to how long it took or how fast I went. I did reach an aerobic level at some points though.

Summary

Calories - 2053

Fat - 98.1 grams

Carbs - 171 grams

Protein - 124 grams

Low Carb

2010-02-23T10:35:00.007-05:00

Yesterday I talked a little bit about my partner Diana and her dietary needs. Diana is using a low carb diet to control her diabetes. Eighty-five carbs a day is a moderate low carb diet. Some people need to drop to a 50 carb a day (10-20-20) diet or even a 30 carb a day (6-12-12) diet to control their type 2 diabetes without the help of medication. These diets are not the "typical American diet" and can be very difficult to maintain without commitment to good health.

How does a low carb diet look? Well at 85 carbs (10-40-15-20), here is a typical day's food that Diana might consume:

Breakfast - an omelet consisting of 2 eggs (0), 6 sliced mushrooms (3), 2 tbsp. chopped onion (2), & 2 oz. cheddar (1) cooked in 1 tsp. butter (0), 2 oz. ham on the side (0), 12 oz. coffee (0) with 2 tbsp. heavy cream (1), 1 tbsp. sugar-free chocolate syrup (3), & 1 tsp. Splenda (0)

Lunch - sandwich consisting of 2 slices of multi-grain "light" bread (18), 3 oz. smoked turkey (0), 1 oz. smoked cheddar (0), lettuce (1), tomatoes (1), & 1 tbsp. Miracle Whip (4); 8 baby carrots (9) with 1 tbsp. ranch dressing (1); 8 black olives (4) & 8 green olives (0); 1 oz. beef jerky (1); 16 oz. ice tea (1)

Snack - 2 oz. assorted cheeses (3), 4 pistachio crisps (4), 1/2 orange (8)

Dinner - 6 oz. salmon (0) sauteed in 1 tbsp. butter (0); 1 c. brussel sprouts (13) with 1 tsp. butter (0); salad of 3 oz. salad mix (4) & 1/8 of a tomato (1), with 2 tbsp. ranch dressing (2)

In comparison, a typical healthy American diet will contains about 300 grams of carbohydrate. I have been averaging about 155 carbs a day since I have switched my eating, just about half of what I would normally be eating.

What if Diana is not able to meet her health needs with the 85 carbs a day diet? Is there any other option than cutting back carbs further or taking medication? Yes, there is! She could commit to more exercise. She could choose to stick to the 85 carbs but to select only from those with a low hypo-glycemic load. She could even decide to switch to the ADA recommended diet with its strict calorie limitations in the hope that a rapid weight loss would fix everything (and there is a good chance it could.) It is always good to be aware of your options when you are dealing with health problems. It is good to know that you are not a slave to your illness, and if you keep looking and working towards a solution, you are eventually going to find the one that is right for you!

Now back to me! Here is my summary for the day.

Summary

9:15 Breakfast - 2 slices of very thin whole wheat bread (1 oz.) with 2 tsp. butter; 2 large eggs with 1 slice American cheese food (3/4 oz.); 1 maple heat & serve sausage patty (1.6 oz.); 12 oz. coffee with 1 tbsp. heavy cream & 1 packet aspartame

11:00 Beverage - 12 oz. Candy Cane Lane tea (decaf green tea with peppermint & vanilla)

1:30 Snack - 12 oz. Candy Cane Lane tea, 1/4 c. mixed nuts (1.3 oz.)

2:00 Lunch - 12.3 oz. turkey gumbo, 12 oz. water

4:00 Snack - 1.1 oz. pepper relish potato chips

7:00 Dinner - 2 small pieces salmon (8.3 oz.) sauteed in 2 tsp. butter, 1 bowl mixed veggies (8.4 oz.) 1/2 navel orange, 3 small pieces chocolate candy (1.7 oz.), & 12 oz. diet birch beer

Calories - 1929

Fat - 121 grams

Carbs - 123 grams

Protein - 101 grams

Sharing

2010-02-22T11:59:00.002-05:00

Here is an article about a research study that found a correlation between happiness and expression of positive emotions, and a lower risk of cardiovascular disease.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/news/fullstory_95393.html

One thing of particular interest to me was that those with a general positive outlook who regularly expressed happiness, joy, contentment, and enthusiasm still had the decrease in cardiovascular problems even if they also exhibited some symptoms of depression. (I would fall into this group.)

Diana

2010-02-22T09:54:00.009-05:00

Diana is my partner, and she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in November 2007. She has tried many methods of controlling her blood glucose levels, but nothing has been very successful. We both feel that it is time to take stronger action to get her blood glucose levels under control. We have seen first hand the devastation that uncontrolled diabetes can cause, and it is time to do better now that we might have a better future.

This month has been my time to work on those things that I need to work on and to take my own demons firmly in hand. Starting next month, I will be adding Diana to the Diet Power program and be helping her with hers. I have some concerns, but I am her partner, and we can work it out together. I think we both know that it is time. Diana will be aiming for 85 carbs per day with no more than 10 at breakfast, 40 at lunch, 15 at afternoon snack, and 20 at dinner with carbs carrying over to the next meal but not carrying over to the next day (because that is just not how diabetes works.)

Summary

9:45 Breakfast - 4.8 oz. whole wheat rotini with 1.9 oz. tomato paste, 1.7 oz. pizza sauce, 1.2 oz. mozzarella, and 1 t. parmesan; 12 oz. coffee with 1 tbsp. heavy cream and 1 packet aspartame

12:00 Snack - 7.2 oz. turkey, 12 oz. coffee with 1 tbsp. heavy cream and 1 packet aspartame

2:00 Snack - .7 oz. deluxe mixed nuts (the kind without peanuts), 12 oz. Diet Dr. Thunder (store brand Dr. Pepper)

4:45 Snack - 2 Golden Double Stuf Oreos & 1 oz. Pepper Relish Potato Chips

8:45 Dinner - veggie bowl (8.2 oz. brussel sprouts, 6.8 oz. corn, 1 tsp. butter), 2 slices very thin whole wheat toast (1.7 oz.) with 2 tsp. butter, 3.2 oz. ham, 2.2 oz. tomato, 12 oz. Diet Dr. Thunder, 5.5 oz. V8 Juice

Calories - 1898

Fat - 79. 4 grams

Carbs - 186 grams

Protein - 129 grams

What's Different?

2010-02-21T20:15:00.002-05:00

One thing I have been meaning to talk about is just what things have changed in my diet. I don't know exactly both because I don't have a "before" record to look at and because I am not the type of person to eat the same thing day after day.

I estimate that I am eating about 1000 fewer calories per day than I did before and that I have cut my carbs in half. That is a lot, but I am not sure it is enough. I would like to see myself getting in more regular exercise. (I am so hoping for an early spring!) Of course, I would like to see a reduction in saturated fat, cholesterol, and sodium. Right now though, I am happy with the reduction in calories and carbs. I feel it is all I can do without really stressing myself out. I will see how my totals look at the end of the month and go from there.

Summary

Calories - 1972

Fat - 120 grams

Carbs - 134 grams

Protein - 103 grams

Weight and stuff...

2010-02-20T20:51:00.001-05:00

It feels like it is a day to get back on track, but with the girls away and Benji here, I am not sure where the track is!

My computer was free this morning, and I did not start the day off with my housework as usual but checked a few things online. (Usually Es is on my computer in the early mornings.) I know that I am partially delaying my housework because somehow or other, my kitchen has gotten very messy! (I don't know how this happens in less than a day!) I got distracted and am now having breakfast at 8:45. It is a Lemon Zest Luna Bar and 12 oz. water. I will make coffee in a few minutes.

A word about weight. When I started this better choice program at the beginning of the month, I did not have access to a working scale that I could weigh myself on. The last time I had weighed myself had been a few months earlier and my weight had been bouncing up and down between 306 and 316. When I started using the Diet Power program, I chose to use 320 as my starting weight because I was quite sure that didn't weigh more than that, and I was also quite sure that my weight was closer to 316 than to 306 (and perhaps a little bit higher) because I had really eaten a lot of calories during the holiday season, and my exercise had been minimal. Diet Power uses your daily weight to constantly adjust your calorie budget to meet your weight loss goal. I have my programmed weight loss goal to be 164 by 2/1/2012. (That would require a weight loss of 1.5 lbs. a week from 320 on 2/1/2010.)

To begin with, I was entering 320 as my weight every day so Diet Power was dropping my calorie allowance each day which was quite annoying. Now the opposite is happening. Today I only weighed 295, and my calorie allowance has jumped to 4045. In addition to that, any calories that you have left over go into your "calorie bank" at the end of the day so that you can use them on special occasion. I now have 8105. I do not intend to eat this much ever! I thought it may be interesting to others who are planning on using Diet Power to see how it works though. I think you really need to use the calorie suggestions with a grain of salt and instead gauge your food intake on your own personal hunger. I do not think I would continue losing weight if I ate 4045 calories a day, but I do know that if I listed weight gains Diet Power would quickly lower my calorie budget to a more reasonable level. It is also important to note that a one day loss or gain doesn't change much, there has to be a clear pattern.

I plan on adjusting my weight loss goal to more accurately reflect my weight and progress at the beginning of each month until I am happy with it.

At 10:00, I have 12 oz. water. I am very dry feeling although not exactly thirsty. It is probably due to still having a cold.

At 11:00, I have what I consider my "morning snack." It consists of 7.4 oz. leftover beef and broccoli and a 12 oz. mug of coffee with 1 tbsp. heavy cream and 1 packet aspartame based sweetener. I am slow drinking my coffee, and it gets cold so I freshen it up with another 6 oz. at noon.

We take Benji and Ant to the Chinese Buffet for lunch just sliding in before 2:00 when the price doubles! I am so careful with my choices but still include some "luxury items." I have two plates. The first plate includes a small mound of that surimi stuff they have at Chinese buffets where it is mixed with cream cheese and onions and maybe some other tasty things and baked, three pieces of three different types of chicken (each just a mouthful), 1/4 c. each of cauliflower, broccoli, and green beens, 1/2 c. of small shrimp with no sauce, 3 small stuffed mushrooms, 1 crab rangoon, and 1 fried cheese stick. My second plate contained one piece of pork teriyaki on a stick and a salad I like to make with a little iceberg lettuce on the bottom, a little rotini on that, a little tomato-cucumber salad on that, and a bit more crab salad on that. Yum! I ate a lot of calories, but definitely fewer and with more nutrition than I would usually eat at the Chinese buffet.

I am still so dry and not well so at 6:00, I have a cup of hot tea.

And then I get distracted and busy, and do eat dinner of course, but don't have time or energy to write about it tonight! Rest assured, it has all been entered into Diet Power, and I will be back tomorrow!

Busier and Busier!

2010-02-19T21:12:00.001-05:00

I was up at about 6:00 today. I can never sleep well when I have a cold. I had a Lemon Zest Luna bar, a calcium/Vitamin D supplement, and 12 oz. coffee with 2 tbsp. cream and a packet of aspartame based sweetener. I accidentally put in the second tablespoon of cream, but I decided to go with it. It has been quite awhile since I had really creamy coffee.

At about 10:30, I have another cup of coffee (only 1 tbsp. cream this time) and another Luna bar. It is almost time to go, and I don't have time for anything more substantial. I really feel good when I eat the Luna bars though. They have a good balance of fat, carbs, and protein, the carbs are low on the hypoglycemic index, and they are enriched with things that I actually don't usually get enough of (namely iron and Vitamin E). Eating two of them along with two calcium pills practically takes care of my nutrition needs for the day!

Then we head out and about, and things get even busier! At about noon, I have a bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper. Then I don't eat again until around 4:30 or so when I have 1 plain hard taco and 1 plain soft taco at Taco Bell in the mall for a very late lunch. I wasn't 100% sure which was better for me, but I was leaning towards the hard (thinking whole grain and the shell is smaller than the soft wheat tortilla). I was right! The hard taco has 40 fewer calories, 8 fewer carbs, and exactly the same amount of fat as the soft taco.

We were exhausted heading home. (We had stopped at a lot of locations and been out with a 6 month old baby for about 6 hours.) We had thought that we might stop and have dinner at the Chinese buffet. We had been hoping to treat Ant this weekend because all of his sisters are at a weekend slumber party. Also with our big family, it is cheaper to eat out if some people are doing something else fun. Benji wasn't happy on the way home though, and we weren't sure if he was up for a restaurant so we decided to postpone that until tomorrow.

For dinner, I made myself a quick "deli plate" at home with 1.3 oz. whole wheat bread, 2 tsp. butter, .75 oz. American cheese food, 1.7 oz. tomato, 1.6 oz. havarti, .9 oz. smoked cheddar, 1 t. mayo, 1 oz. ham, 1 oz. roast beef, .9 oz. green olives, 4.1 oz. slices apple heated in the microwave and sprinkled with 1/4 tsp. cinnamon and 1 packet of aspartame based sweetener. I also had a mug of Candy Cane Lane tea.

Summary

Calories - 1848

Fat - 101 grams

Carbs - 140 grams

Protein - 107 grams

Now for bed!

Still Sick

2010-02-18T21:18:00.003-05:00

I haven't been writing here today. I still have a cold. I am still staying very active, but it is hard when you are sick to do a lot of things and stay with it. Today this blog was went by the wayside although I did put all of my food into the Diet Power program.

I also shoveled snow for over half an hour, did tons of laundry, cooked, and washed dishes. Oh! I can't forget to mention the shopping trip that involved stopping at three stores and writing the list for that shopping trip.

Anyways, hopefully tomorrow it will be back to the regularly scheduled programming (although tomorrow is going to be quite busy too!)

Still Sick

2010-02-17T19:56:00.003-05:00

I still have a cold. OK, I know colds usually last more than one day.

In brief, I had breakfast at about 8:00. I had a piece of leftover Valentine's pizza and my usual coffee with 1 tbsp. cream and 1 packet aspartame based sweetener.

At 11:30, I have 3.2 oz. turkey and another cup of coffee prepared the same way.

At 1:45, I have 1 c. spaghetti sauce soup (13 oz.), 1 oz. potato chips, and 12 oz. water.

In the afternoon, I go out and shovel snow for 40 minutes. I decide to go out even though I have a cold because it has been snowing heavy all day, and the parts that the kids shoveled in the morning need to be re-shoveled! JoAnn goes out with me, and we get the job done. I am glad I went because the cold air is always good for me when I have a cold and a bit of exercise too. It was fun in spite of the sleet.

When I come inside at about 4:00, I have about 6 oz. of turkey and 12 oz. of hot candy cane lane tea.

At 7:00, I have another cup of that tea. Tea is good when you have a cold.

At 8:00, I have dinner of 4 Chicken Bundles (pieces of chicken seasoned and wrapped in bacon then baked). I have 12 oz. water with that.

At 9:45, I finish up my day with a cup of coconut thai tea. (Yes, we collect a lot of teas!)

Summary

Calories - 2153

Fat - 103 grams

Carbs - 118 grams

Protein - 194 grams

Exercise - 40 minutes of light snow shoveling

Today

2010-02-16T21:06:00.000-05:00

Sorry about the no official post yesterday! It was such a long "out and about" sort of day, and then after I entered all of my foods into Diet Power (and it was after midnight) writing much of anything here seemed just too much!

Today I got up at 7:15 and ate breakfast at about 8:30. I had 3.4 oz. shrimp (leftover from make your own pizza night and a red pear (8 oz.). I also had 12 oz. of coffee with 1 tbsp. heavy cream and 1 packet aspartame based sweetener in it.

At 11:30, I had a snack of 1/2 c. spaghetti sauce soup (5.2 oz.) and 12 oz. water and my calcium/Vitamin D supplement.

Lunch at 1:00 is a leftover piece of my Valentine's pizza (instead of eating the whole thing on Valentine's Day I only ate 1/4) and 5.6 oz. of leftover brussel sprouts. We have a lot of leftovers! I also have a cup of sugar cookie sleigh ride herbal tea.

At 4:45, I have a snack of 1/2 c. spaghetti sauce soup (5.8 oz.), 12 oz. water, and 12 oz. candy cane lane tea.

I make gumbo for dinner, but I am not really hungry because I have a cold! I make myself a cup of roibos tea. It is a new kind with vanilla. I mostly don't like vanilla teas, but I thought I would try this one. It is not good enough to drink straight, but it is OK with a packet of aspartame sweetener in it.

At 9:00, I have 2 c. of turkey gumbo (19.9 oz.) and 12 oz. diet green apple soda.

Summary

Calories - 1424

Fat - 66 grams

Carbs - 143 grams

Protein - 84.6 grams

Today...or should I say yesterday?

2010-02-16T00:14:00.001-05:00

It has been a very busy day, and although I have updated Diet Power I really don't have time for a detailed update here tonight! Tomorrow it will be back to my regularly scheduled programming.

Weekly Summary - Second Week

2010-02-15T11:23:00.002-05:00

Averages -

Calories - 2011

Fat - 118 grams

Carbs - 142 grams

Protein - 111 grams

Nutrition Score - 80 (B)

Things I should get less of: saturated fat, cholesterol, and sodium.

Thing I should get more of: potassium, fiber, iron, Vitamin E, thiamin, folate, and magnesium.

Way to go to me for reaching my goal for less sugar (achieved by sometimes just saying no to dessert). Way to go to me for getting enough calcium and Vitamin D (first through milk, then through supplements).

Things to think about this week: possibly supplementing with Vitamin E and get more fiber with more whole grain and more veggies! Also make exercise more of a priority!

Exercise

Days - 1

Minutes - 15

Calories Burned - 42 (probably actually more because Diet Power does not take weight into consideration)

Supplements

2010-02-14T23:11:00.000-05:00

I forgot to include my supplements yesterday. We have gotten some tax return money in the mail, and I am back on the Calcium/Vitamin D supplements again. I am very excited to have this option, and I don't have to worry so much about trying to get milk anymore. (It is odd that we *just* bought the 1% milk though. I almost feel guilty, but if I don't use it the rest of the family will.)

I have one worry about the supplement though. I use a supplement that gives me adequate calcium for PMDD and enough Vitamin D to make sure that it is utilized well (and since inadequate Vitamin D has now been linked to other health problems that is even better.) The problem is that the particular supplement I have been using also contains some other minerals. I never really thought much about it before. I assumed that they were minerals that most people didn't get enough of. The truth is that I have seen from my diet program that I usually get 200% of the USRDA for manganese every day, and my daily dose of pills contains another 180%. Now, I can somewhat understand why manganese is in the supplement. Manganese is important for proper bone development, and the primary reason people take calcium supplements is worry about osteoporosis. That is not why I take it though! Also lots of people do not get enough diversity of fruits and vegetables in their diets. I do though (on average).

This has led me to do some research on manganese (especially since the Diet Power program keeps warning me that I am getting too much!) The first thing I found out was that some people can experience the symptoms of a manganese overdose at as low as 400% the USRDA. I have not reached that, but I have approached it. The symptoms of too much manganese include laughing, slurred speech, hand tremors, and an immobile facial expression. I do have hand tremors on occasion so these symptoms worried me. Then I did more indepth research.

I find out that the USRDA for this mineral is a very new thing! It is also is on the shaky side of just how accurate it is. I also find out that the needs for manganese for perimenopausal women (like myself) tends to be greater than other parts of the population with the exception of pregnant women and women who are trying to get pregnant. Manganese supplementation in perimenopausal women has been associated with decreased tiredness, decreased irritability, improvements in memory, and improvements in muscle reflex speed. These are all very good things. So for now, I am going to continue with the supplement that I have used in the past, but I will be watching for those symptoms of overdose just to be safe!

This morning, I weighed 297.2 lbs. I was so excited to be under the 300 lbs. mark. Now I am just hoping the my blood sugar is also going down. I will be testing it first thing in the morning on March 1. Since this plan seems to be working in other ways, I am so hoping that it will also lower my blood sugar.

I didn't get myself breakfast until 10:15, and I had 4.8 oz. strawberries, 3.1 oz. banana, .9 oz gouda, .3 oz. bacon, 1.8 oz. tomato, .8 oz. swiss, and 2.6 oz. turkey. I had 12 oz. coffee to drink with 1 tbsp. heavy cream and 1 packet of aspartame based sweetener, and I had 1 calcium/Vitamin D supplement.

At 11:45, I am thirsty, and I drink 12 oz. water.

At 1:00, I am not hungry for lunch yet, but I am still thirsty so I drink another 12 oz. water.

At 3:15, I am hungry! For lunch, I have 13.3 oz. of leftover spaghetti sauce soup and a 5.5 oz. can of V8 juice. I also have another 12 oz. water.

Then a little more than an hour later at 4:30, I realized I was still pretty hungry, and it would still be a long time until dinner so I had 1/2 of a roast beef sandwich with some gouda and some tomato on it all on just one slice of thin whole wheat bread. It had a little Miracle Whip type salad dressing on it too.

Before dinner, I had another couple of 12 oz. mugs of water.

Dinner was at about 8:30, and I had 1/4 of a medium size pizza with pepperoni, and a lot of broccoli and red peppers on it. I also had a piece of dessert pizza. This was our Valentine's feast.

Summary

Calories 2288

Fat 122 grams

Carbs 204 grams

Protein 111 grams

Exercise - none dedicated

I am tired with no time to proofread tonight!

I Have a Scale!

2010-02-13T22:01:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we went and bought a scale. I was able to weigh myself, and this morning I weigh 300.0 lbs. That is very close to my goal for this experimental month of under 300.

Today we have a very, very busy day so I got up at 6:00. I don't think that I will have any breakfast today because I am one of those people who doesn't do well with eating too early in the morning, and we are leaving at 8:50, and I have a lot to do before then, but I am having 12 oz. coffee with a tbsp. of heavy cream and a packet of aspartame based sweetener in it.

We go to a party for lunch, and at about noon, I have 1 chocolate covered bugle, 1/2 c. macaroni and cheese, 1/3 c. of a gumbo sort of casserole with rice in it, 1/2 c. of a beef shepherd's pie, 1 c. mixed vegetables (mushrooms, carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower), 1/2 c. of mixed fruit (grapes, pineapple, and mandarin oranges), 1 c. chili, and 24 oz. diet pepsi. For me this is a very modest intake at a party.

On the way home, we stop at the grocery store, and I pick up a bag of a new flavor chip (Lay's Ranch Kettle Cooked), and in the car at about 4:30, I eat 1 oz. of them.

At home, dinner feels very late after a long day! I have 7.4 oz. of a seafood in sauce thingie and 3.7 oz. of a sugar snap pea thingie. (I am too tired to give these foods names!) I also had 24 oz. water.

Summary

Calories - 1868

Fat - 101 grams

Carbs - 148 grams

Protein - 109 grams

Exercise - none dedicated but there was a lot of walking around

More of the same...

2010-02-12T10:10:00.004-05:00

At 7:45, I started my day with 12 oz. water. Then I had breakfast at 8:30 of 12 oz. coffee with 1 oz. heavy cream and 1 packet of aspartame based sweetener, 2 eggs, and 1.4 oz. whole wheat toast with 1 tsp. butter.

At about 10:30, I have a snack of 3.8 oz. of ham and 2/3 cup cranberry-pomegranate juice, the kind that is 100% juice.

At 4:00, I have a late lunch of 3.2 oz. of turkey, 7.3 oz. pear, and .7 oz. havarti.

Then Diana and I need to go out again, and although there is a lot of exercise, I don't think that I can count it as dedicated exercise. On our way home, I have a 20 oz. bottle of Diet Dr. Pepper.

For dinner at about 8:30, I have 17.8 oz. of spaghetti sauce soup. It has meatballs in it and is very good! I also have about 12 oz. water.

Summary

Calories - 1429

Fat - 68.2 grams

Carbs - 111 grams

Protein - 103

Exercise - none dedicated

Busy Day before the Weekend!

2010-02-11T08:14:00.007-05:00

Today I am somewhat in a hurry because there is a lot to be done. At the same time, my slogan, "never hurry, never wait" (yes from Anne McCaffrey) is playing through my mind so I am breathing deeply and moving from one activity to the next. I had a quick breakfast at 7:45 of 4 mini quiches and a cup of coffee with 1/2 a c. of 2% milk.

At 10:45, I have another cup of coffee (8 oz.) with 4 oz. 2% milk and 4.9 oz. triple berry blend.

We are out and about shopping and errand running and taking photos for much of the day today, and I somehow miss lunch, but on the way home from the store at around 4:00 I have a 46g package of salted peanuts.

I eat "lunch" at 5:00. I have a .4 oz. slice of very thinly sliced whole wheat bread, 4.2 oz. turkey, .7 oz. smoked swiss, and 4.7 oz. of peach.

Dinner was at 8:00 I think! I had two pieces of stuffed chicken breast and 4.3 oz. brussel sprouts with 1 tbsp. of Italian dressing on them. I also had 12 oz. diet birch beer and 12 oz. water.

Summary

Calories - 1800 (yes exactly lol)

Fat - 96.1 grams

Carbs - 111 grams

Protein - 133 grams

Exercise - none dedicated but I was very active while shopping!

Day 10

2010-02-10T21:07:00.002-05:00

Today is day ten of making better choices month. Yesterday evening, in spite of eating more nutritionally sound than I had the past week, I felt somewhat bad about my food choices for the day. I felt that I had eaten too much, and I felt that I had let myself get too hungry at one point. I was having anxious feelings about the whole thing which is a bad place to be because that is when things can slide. Today I woke with a renewed fervor to see this month out making the best choices I can with no rules in place other than logging my foods and writing here. I think it might be just a wee bit easier if I had some sort of feedback at this point so I am hoping that Diana will agree to us getting a scale sometime soon that I can use to way myself.

Anyways, this morning, I was determined to choose a healthy breakfast. I got out a favorite plate and a favorite bowl and my mug (which I don't love, but I consider it mine so it will do for now.) I proceeded to fill them with things that I knew would be nutritious for my body to the best of my ability. In the bowl, I made 1 oz. of quick oats into oatmeal with 2/3 c. of water. Then I added 1 c. (140 g) of triple berry blend (frozen berries from Aldi - blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries) and 1 packet of aspartame based sweetener. I got out my small cast iron frying pan, heated it, added 1 tsp. of canola oil, and cooked two eggs in it. I put those on the small plate. Then I put 1/2 a c. of 2% milk in my mug and topped it off with coffee (about 8 or 9 oz.)

At 11:00, I do the same thing. I get out my mug and my small yellow flower plate and contemplate what I could put on them to make a snack that would be healthy and satisfying for me right then. I select 1/4 c. pecans (1 oz.) and 1/2 an avocado (2.3 oz.). I fill the mug with 12 oz. of water.

Note, whenever I refer to beverage amounts here in ounces, I mean fluid ounces. I wouldn't want anyone to be confused on that point!

Lunch isn't until 2:30, and I make myself a tuna salad consisting of 2.8 oz. of tuna, 1 t. of chopped onion, .9 oz. chopped celery, .9 oz. crumbled blue cheese, and 2 tbsp. of mayonnaise. I eat this with 8.8 oz. of canned green beans and .8 oz. of cheese crackers. My beverage is 12 oz. water.

At 4:00, Diana and I go for a walk. It is very cold and windy, and there is some ice and snow on the edge of the street so walking isn't completely easy although the streets themselves are not slippery. We walk in the direction that we have some downhill there and some uphill coming back. It was enough uphill to get me out of breath. We only walked for 15 minutes about 1/2 a mile, but it was *some* exercise, and it is very good for me to be outside. Matter of fact, I may go back out. OK probably not because I feel like I have a *lot* of things left to do today, but I would like to go back out.

At 6:30, I am only starting dinner so I grabbed 1 oz. of beef jerky and 5 oz. of diet ginger ale to hold me over. I notice that the package of beef jerky says that it contains 70 calories and 1 gram of fat, but the generic beef jerky entry on the Diet Power program says that 1 oz. of beef jerky has 153 calories and 13.9 grams of fat. That is a pretty big discrepancy!

I somehow end up not actually eating my dinner until 9:00! I have a small chicken breast (4.6 oz.) cooked in 1 tsp. canola oil topped with 1/4 c. spaghetti sauce and .7 oz. smoked swiss cheese, a large serving of coleslaw, and for dessert 3.4 oz. frozen strawberries. I have 12 oz. candy cane lane tea to drink.

Once again my Vitamin D is very low. I think I am eating too much too although I am still in the weight loss range for my weight according to Diet Power.

Summary

Calories - 2235

Fat - 144 grams

Carbs - 135 grams

Protein - 116 grams

Exercise - 15 minutes walking at 2 mph

Making Good Changes

2010-02-09T17:27:00.002-05:00

As I contemplated breakfast today, I decided to try a new tactic. I had some whole grain cereal (1 c. cheerio type cereal) and 1/2 c. of 2% milk (still need to get that 1% milk) as well as another 1/2 c. 2% milk with 8 oz. of coffee. I am worried that it won't be enough fat and protein to keep my not hungry until lunch, but it doesn't have to be! I can eat more in a couple of hours if I need to.

For a snack at 11:00, I have 4 mini quiches and 12 oz. water.

At 2:00, I have lunch consisting of a 1 oz. slice of seedless rye bread topped with 2.8 oz. of tuna mixed with 2 tbsp. of mayonnaise, and 2 c. of leftover roasted vegetables. I also have 12 oz. of diet birch beer.

At 4:30, I have 12 oz. of water.

At about 8:00, I have dinner. It is a sort of make your own dinner tonight only I actually do most of the making, but everyone picks the things that they like. I have another 2 c. of the leftover roasted veggies (so good), 1 slice of rye bread topped with 1 oz. of cream cheese and 2.2 oz. surimi, and on the side, .8 oz. smoked cheddar, .6 oz. smoked swiss, and 3 oz. smoked turkey, and one cube of fresh pineapple. It was late, and I was hungry!

I have definitely eaten better today. I am over 90% of RDA for all the important nutrients. I also kept my sodium in check. I still need to work on the saturated fat but hopefully that will come. I have decided to not post a nutrition score anymore because the algorithm that they use does not accurately affect the way I am trying to eat. (To give an example, I start with an F everyday because I obviously haven't fulfilled any of my nutritional needs.)

Summary

Calories - 2180

Fat - 143 grams

Carbs - 131 grams

Protein - 112 grams

Exercise - none dedicated although in addition to my usual movement I danced with the girls for a bit

Week 2 Begins

2010-02-08T21:30:00.000-05:00

Up at 7:15, I am! Breakfast at 8:00, wow! It consists of 1 c. of mixed fruit (2 oz. sliced banana, 1.8 oz. fresh pineapple, 1.5 oz. frozen blueberries), an omelet (2 large eggs and .8 oz. gouda), and a cup of coffee (12 oz. coffee, 1 tbsp. heavy cream, and 1 packet aspartame based sweetener).

At noon, I have 12 oz. of water.

Lunch is at 2:30, and I have 1.5 c. leftover gumbo and 3 hush puppies. I also have 12 oz. of water.

Now I must rescind one of my criticism's of Diet Power 4.4. I had complained that for many food items I did not have the option of entering my portions by weight which is my preferred method of measuring. The truth is that for nearly all of the items there is a button labeled "enter by weight" which you can use to switch the entry window from volume to weight. I do not know how I missed this before, but I am glad that it is there!

I have a snack at 5:30 consisting of a 12 oz. mug of candy cane lane tea and 2 mini bacon-broccoli quiches.

Dinner is at 8:30 and includes a salmon wellington, 11 oz. of roasted vegetables, and 12 oz. of candy can lane tea.

Summary

calories - 2255

fat - 152 grams

carbs - 149 grams

protein - 92.3 grams

nutrition score - 72 (C)

exercise - none dedicated

Weekly Summary

2010-02-08T21:28:00.002-05:00

Having completed a week I thought I would include some data here. The following are my averages for week one.

Calories - 1820

Fat - 90.3 grams

Carbs - 154 grams

Protein - 112 grams

Nutrition Score - 74 (C)

Things I should get less of: saturated fat, cholesterol, sodium, and sugars.

Things I should get more of: potassium, fiber, calcium, iron, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, and folate.

Things to think of in the upcoming week. Switch polyunsaturated fats for saturated fats, add some milk, include more whole grains, switch some veggies for fruits.

Exercise - I completed dedicated exercise two days this week. Both days the exercise was light snow shoveling. One day I shoveled for 15 minutes and one day I shoveled for 49 minutes.

Exercise totals -

days - 2

minutes - 64

calories burned - 1049

I hope to improve on these exercise totals this week!

Last Day of First Week!

2010-02-07T19:34:00.004-05:00

Today I got up right on time at 7:15, but once again, I didn't manage to sit down to breakfast until a bit later, 9:45. I had an omelet made of 1 t. of butter, 2 eggs, and .5 oz. of gouda, a 1.4 oz. slice of whole wheat toast with 1 tsp. of butter, and 12 oz. of coffee with 1 tbsp. of heavy cream and 1 packet of aspartame based sweetener.

I have notices that the Diet Power 4.4 program lowers your calorie amount everyday that you don't report a weight loss. I think this is a good idea, but because I am not weighing myself and am just putting in the same weight every day, I wonder if eventually it will say I shouldn't eat anything! I will not find out of course because if I decide to continue on this program, I will buy a scale on which I can weigh myself.

At 12:30, I stop my activity for a snack of 1/2 c. of fresh pineapple and 1/2 c. of fresh strawberries! Yep, we splurged on fresh fruit at Aldi this week. The strawberries are only so-so, but he pineapple is so good!!! I also have a 5.5 oz. can of V8 juice and a second cup of coffee (12 oz.) with 1 tbsp. heavy cream and 1 packet of aspartame based sweetener.

After a late breakfast, I have a late lunch at 3:30. I have 1 c. of whole wheat pasta topped with 1.5 c. of left over sweet chicken chili. I also have 12 oz. of diet ginger ale.

At 4:45, I have a snack of .5 oz. of pork rinds and 1/2 c. blueberries (frozen, unsweetened).

I am thirsty and over the course of the afternoon and evening, drink 24 oz. of water.

For dinner, our original plans were to go to a Super Bowl party at Diana's mom's house and bring gumbo, but that fell through so I made gumbo for our dinner at home. Diana's mom was making shrimp fritters, and the thought of that put Diana in the mood for hush puppies so those were what I made for a side dish. I ate 1.5 c. of gumbo and 3 hush puppies. I also drank another 8 oz. of water.

Summary

calories - 1941

fat - 91.5 grams

carbs - 183 grams

protein - 110 grams

nutrition score - 81 (B)

exercise - none dedicated

February 6, The First Week Is Almost Done

2010-02-06T11:40:00.007-05:00

Today I slept a little late as I tend to on Saturdays and got up at 8:00. Then I jumped right into chores and didn't get around to eating breakfast until about 11:00. I had a big Saturday breakfast: .7 oz. bacon (3 small slices center cut), 1/2 c. diced frozen hashbrowns heated in 1 tbsp. butter, 2 eggs made into an omelet with 3/4 oz. American Cheese Food and 1 t. butter. I also had 12 oz. coffee w/1 tbsp. heavy cream and 1 packet of aspartame based sweetener, and a 5.5 ounce can of V-8 juice.

At 12:30, thirst drives me to drinking 12 oz. of water.

Lunch commences at 1:45. I have 11 oz. of leftover scalloped potatoes mixed with 3.9 oz. of leftover shrimp dip and 12 oz. of candy cane lane tea. It is all delicious! I feel like I have not eaten a very nutritious diet so far today though. Everything has been too decadent!

At 3:45, I have another 12 oz. water.

Dinner is a bit earlier than it has been. At 7:00, I have 8.6 oz. of canned beets with 1 tsp. of butter on them, .7 oz. of pork rinds, and a piece of salmon wellington. I also have 12 oz. diet gingerale.

Summary

breakfast: 3 small slices bacon, 1/2 c. hashbrowns, 2 egg omelet with American cheese, coffee, V8 juice

lunch: scalloped potatoes mixed with shrimp dip, tea

dinner: beets with butter, pork rinds, salmon wellington, diet gingerale

calories - 1905

fat -122 grams

carbs - 134 grams

protein - 78.9 grams

nutrition score - 70 (C)

exercise - nothing specific

'Tis the Fifth, and All Is Well

2010-02-05T10:09:00.005-05:00

Today I got up at 7 am with much too little sleep. Our daughter Lia needed me in the night, and it seemed so did our cat Bunny. I was thinking I would want to nap sometime today (and boy, do I hate napping!) so I started right in with the things I wanted to accomplish. After a quick shower, I cleaned the bedroom mirrors and then headed outside to shovel snow! It was only light shoveling, and I was determined to shovel our whole driveway by myself. (Something I have never done before.) I shoveled for 23 minutes and then too a short break to prep coffee and make sure that Benji was OK, and then shoveled for another 26 minutes, and it was done! Forty-nine minute total! (Of course, when the snow is deep and heavy the whole thing can take much longer.)

Then I was going to have a cup of coffee at the least, but Benji needed me, and I decided to wash the dishes, and Lia got up and I talked with her a bit so by the time that I sat down with a cup of coffee it was 10:00! I have not been too hungry this morning so it has been OK. I only have 1 tsp. of heavy cream and 1 pkt. aspartame based sweetener in my coffee today (at least this cup).

At 10:47, I realized that Lia had gone back to sleep, and Benji was down for his nap, so I should get some food! I made myself a "breakfast" of 1/2 c. leftover scalloped potatoes, 6 oz. Prince Edward Island blend veggies, .7 oz. smoked cheddar cheese, and another 12 oz. of coffee with 1 tbsp (this time) heavy cream and 1 pkt. of aspartame based sweetener.

I continue with my daily activities, and at 1:45, when all of the kids are up except for Es and Benji is drowsing again, I attempt to take a nap. I sleep on and off but little things keep waking me up, and at 2:30, I get out of bed and get myself some lunch. I am trying to finish up some leftovers today so I put 1/2 c. seafood chowder, 1/2 c. imbolc stew, and 1/2 c. scalloped potatoes into a bowl and heat it for a hearty lunch. I also make myself a 12 oz. cup of candy cane lane stew. I always wake up from a nap freezing cold and craving hot, high fat food (even on hot humid days in the middle of the summer!) It is one of the reasons I don't like napping.

I am still hungry after I eat (that after nap side effect), but I just keep on truckin' and wait until 3:45 to eat again. Then I make myself another cup of that candy cane lane tea (so good!) and want something rich and creamy and full of fat! At the same time, I don't want to increase my intake of saturated fat with this snack. Nuts are out because they hurt my teeth, and I am in no mood to tolerate that right now. I briefly contemplate crackers, but they are not creamy, and I think eating a lot more carbs right now might prolong my discomfort. I notice three avocados on our counter! I had forgotten about them, and one is almost over ripe! Without guilt I eat 1/2 an avocado for my snack!

As usual, dinner was on the late side. We sat down to eat at about 8:00, and I had 1.5 c. sweet chicken chili, 1/2 c. coleslaw, and 1 small leftover whole wheat dinner roll. To drink, I had another 12 oz. of the candy cane lane tea.

Summary:

morning snack - coffee w/heavy cream and sweetener

breakfast - scalloped potatoes, PEI blend veggies, smoked cheddar, more coffee

lunch - scalloped potatoes, imbolc stew, seafood chowder, tea

afternoon snack - avocado, tea

dinner - chili, coleslaw, dinner roll, tea

Calories - 1242

Fat - 55.9 grams

Carbs - 126 grams

Protein - 71.1 grams

Nutrition Score - 105 (A+)

Exercise - 49 minutes light snow shoveling

Day Four (Happy Birthday Lia!)

2010-02-04T08:36:00.008-05:00

Today I am up to the sun at 7:15! Back on schedule feels great to me in spite of the 3 degree temperature outside and the fifty-something degree temperature inside. I turn up the heat and quickly check the water. Everything is working! I didn't realize that the temperature would fall so much last night, and I took no precautions against frozen pipes! I feel lucky.

I do my morning stuff and am ready for breakfast as usual at 8:00. I have 12 oz. coffee with 1 tbsp. heavy cream and 1 pkt. aspartame based sweetener, an omelet of 2 eggs and 3/4 oz. American cheese food cooked in 1 tsp. butter, and a 1.6 oz. slice of whole wheat toast with 1 tsp. butter. Breakfast is delicious. I am not hungry and am ready to face the day. (Somewhere in the back of my head I am thinking that I should be eating less saturated fat for breakfast, but the lower fat higher carb breakfasts tend to leave me hungry and may not be best for my diabetes so this is the best choice that I am willing to make today.)

At 10:30, I had a snack of 8 oz. water and 2.6 ounces of raw cabbage.

Next activity of the day was heading to Syracuse to pick up my grandson who will be spending a few days with us. We were gone about 3 hours (we had other errands to do to), and I got very thristy on this trip! Diana stopped at Walmart on the way home and got me a 20 oz. bottle of diet Dr. Pepper. I started drinking this at about 2:00 and continued drinking it as my beverage for lunch which I had when I got home at 2:30. Lunch was 1.5 cups of leftover imbolc stew.

The afternoon is a flurry of party preparations! At 4:30, I take a break for a snack. My snack consists of 8 oz. diet ginger ale, 3.8 oz. raw cabbage, .8 oz. cheddar, 2.4 oz. turkey, and 2 T. low fat Asian salad dressing (on the cabbage).

At 5:30, I start to feel weird. I think I might be dehydrated and get 12 oz. water.

We sat down to dinner at around 7:30. It was a birthday party for Lia, and for dinner, she had requested a seafood/chocolate/lollipop theme. We made it special using our best dishes and serving it in three courses. The seafood was very tempting to me, and although I ate a lot, I know that I would have eaten a lot more if I hadn't been attempting to make better choices.

For the first course I had: 1/4 c. cocktail sauce, 10 very small shrimp, 1/2 c. shrimp dip, 8 whole wheat ritz type crackers, and 1 rib of celery.

For the second course I had: 1.5 c. seafood soup and 1 small whole wheat dinner roll

For the third course I had: 1 chocolate cupcake with chocolate - vanilla swirl icing and 8 ounces of vanilla milk shake

After dinner, I had 12 ounces of water.

Summary

Calories - 2477

Fat - 119 grams

Carbs - 190 grams

Protein - 175 grams

Nutrition Score - 84 (B)

Exercise - none in particular although I was active most of the day

Day 3 - Making Better Choices

2010-02-03T13:39:00.002-05:00

Today I let myself sleep late. I had gotten to bed extra late last night, and I wasn't feeling very good. I don't do so well with sleeping late though so the result was that I didn't get out of bed until 11:00, and I was on the grouchy side. I do feel better rested than I have in a few days though. The grouchiness will pass. I awake from all naps on the grouchy side too.

I felt like I had lost about four hours of my life when I got up so I didn't get myself something to eat or drink right away but hopped right into doing other things. At noon, I realized that I was achy and had a half a cup of diet ginger ale with some pain relievers. Then I started cooking, but before I made food for myself, I made sure that the other members of my family had been fed. The result was that I didn't sit down to what could only be described as lunch until about 1:30. I had a cup of coffee with a tablespoon of heavy cream and a packet of aspartame based sweetener, and an omelet made from two large eggs, one teaspoon of butter, two ounces of ham, 1.3 ounces of mushrooms, 1.3 ounces of broccoli, and .6 ounces of smoked Swiss cheese. It was delicious! I am still hungry now though.

At 2:30, to assuage that hunger I have 12 ounces of water and 1/4 cup of unsweetened frozen blueberries. The blueberries taste extra delicious, and the water is extra refreshing!

Then still being hungry, I have a can of spinach at 3:00 (13.5 oz.) Once again, the spinach is so good, so warm, so filling. (Of course, canned spinach is one of my comfort food so this is not all that surprising.)

I am hungry again at 4:30, and I decide to have a real lunch: 1 cup whole wheat rotini, 2/3 cup spaghetti soup, with 1.6 ounces of fake lobster made from surimi mixed in.

Dinner is ready at 7:00. I have 3.7 oz. smoked turkey, .7 oz. gouda, 3.9 oz. four seed bread, 5.5 oz. Prince Edward Island blend (yellow and green beans and baby cut carrots) and 12 oz. diet gingerale. I finish up my evening with a mug (12 oz.) of Candy Cane Lane tea at 9:30.

Summary

breakfast - coffee, omelet with mushrooms, broccoli, ham, and smoked swiss

afternoon snack - blueberries, spinach

lunch - leftover whole wheat rotini with spaghetti sauce soup and surimi on top

dinner - four seed bread with gouda and smoked turkey, prince edward island veggie blend, diet ginger ale

evening snack - candy cane lane tea

calories - 1430

fat - 55.7 grams

carbs - 133 grams

protein - 111 grams

Nutrition Score - 120 (which is supposedly an A++)

Exercise - nothing specific

I have to note that I am not exactly sure how the nutrition score works, or if it is a very accurate way to judge what you eat. Looking over my nutrition for the day, I did eat a pretty healthy diet, and I am near 100% of the US RDA for many nutrients, but I did have twice as much cholesterol and twice as much sodium as you are suppose to have. Also I only had 1/4 of the US RDA of both vitamin D and vitamin E. Since I am at risk for heart disease, I would think that all of those values would keep me from being an A++. Hmmm...

Day 2

2010-02-02T08:30:00.004-05:00

Today, I got up at my usual 7:15, but I didn't manage to sit down to "breakfast" until 8:15. I am still cleaning up from a couple of days without hot water (frozen hot water pipes), and laundry is backed up, and today is a holiday so I am jumping around a bit trying to get everything done and excited and trying to relax too all at the same time.

Anyways, I am not even having a real breakfast. I am not very hungry so I have a smaller banana (3.8 ounces of fruit) and a cup of coffee. Looking at my nutrition stats yesterday, I feel that I am eating too many saturated fats, so I think next week I will pick up a gallon of 1% milk even if I only use it for coffee. Today I am having 12 oz. coffee, 1 oz. 2% milk, and 1 packet aspartame based sweetener.

I am using the Diet Power 4.4 computer software to track my food. It is a free trial version, but I may choose to buy it if I like it well enough. So far, I like it. It is very easy to use and has a few cool features. My favorite feature is that you can customize your daily nutrition goals. (You can customize pretty much everything!) This means that if Diana was using this program and wanted to try out a 6/12/12 carb pattern or a 15/30/15 carb pattern or a 6/30/15 carb pattern or whatever, the program could very easily be customized to make those her goals, and it would give her customized feedback about what she should eat based on those goals. (And it also takes into consideration the foods that you have eaten, assuming that you have those foods around regularly and like them.)

One thing that I don't like about the software is that for a lot of foods it doesn't seem to have enough different ways to measure your entry. They may give equivalents (for example only allow you to enter something in cups but say that 1 cup = 5.2 ounces), but that involves a lot of calculator usage on my part, and I would rather the process was simpler. (Most of the online programs offer more options in measuring.) As my regular readers know, I prefer to measure on the scale in ounces or grams. This is way more accurate than measuring by volume, and if you are consistently measuring wrong by volume (which is highly likely), you are not going to get the results you expect. I have been studying physics along with my partner Diana who is working towards a masters degree in science education, and I have become friends with my calculator from that so this converting volume to weight is like an extension of that, and for now, I am willing to go with it. (If Ant's programming skills were better I would see if we could develop a better program. Maybe some day...)

At 11:00, I set about getting Diana some brunch, and I was hungry and thirsty so I made myself 2 slices of center cut bacon (.3 oz. total after cooking), 2 large eggs scrambled in 1 tsp. butter, and 12 oz. water.

At 1:00, I don't really have the time to start lunch yet, and I am too busy to be hungry, but I do pour myself another cup of 12 oz. water.

At 1:30, I get around to getting myself some lunch: 1 c. leftover whole wheat rotini and 1.5 c. leftover spaghetti sauce soup.

At 3:00, I get myself another 12 oz. of water. Stupid thirst!

Next we went to Rice Creek Field Station to look for signs of spring. It mostly looked wintry, but we did see green grass and a small cluster of snowdrop buds near the exit. (It is the usual first place that we see them so we were not too surprised.) Although I moved around a bit, it wasn't enough extra for me to really consider it exercise.

We got home at about 5:00, and I was feeling quite hungry. I had 1/2 c. of frozen unsweetened blueberries and 3 oz. of honey smoked turkey breast deli meat.

At 6:30, thirst strikes again! Twelve more ounces of water it is!

Dinner is once again on the late side. Our Imbolc feast starts at around 8:30. I have 1.5 cups of Imbolc Stew (made with lamb, beef, lots of carrots, lots of onions, a few potatoes, and a little celery and parsley for seasoning), a 2.1 oz. slice of homemade four seed bread, 8 oz. diet gingerale, and to finish it all off a Groundhog's Day cup cake (cup cake with 1/2 an Almond Joy bar on it decorated to look like a groundhog) with a cup of Candy Cane Lane tea (green tea with peppermint and vanilla).

Summary

Morning Snack - banana & coffee

Breakfast - 2 eggs scrambled, 2 slices bacon

Lunch - 1 cup whole wheat rotini with 1.5 cups spaghetti sauce soup

Afternoon Snack - 3 oz. deli turkey, 1/2 cup blueberries

Dinner - 1.5 cups lamb stew, 1 slice four seed bread, 1 cupcake

Calories - 1970

Fat - 86 grams

Carbs - 194 grams

Protein - 119 grams

Exercise - none

Nutrition Score - 69 (due to too many saturated fats and too much sugar)

I still did fairly good though. Especially for a holiday. I actually stayed under the calorie budget that diet power gave me for today, and I have calories in my "calorie bank!"

Diet Today

2010-02-01T10:16:00.006-05:00

Today was not a typical day for me. Usually I get up at about 7:00 and help Diana get ready for work and then eat breakfast when she leaves at about 8:00, or I get up at about 7:15, take a shower and start the laundry, and then eat breakfast at about 8:00. Today Diana had jury duty. She had to be there at 9:30. So I got up at 7:15, packed her lunch, started laundry, and then at 8 when I am usually eating it was time to get her up and help her get ready to go. I didn't want to go another hour without eating because I was hungry and wanted to start the day out right. So I pour 1/2 a cup of frozen unsweetened blueberries into one bowl, a quarter cup each of raw almonds and pecans into another bowl, and 12 oz. water into a mug, and I snacked and sipped while helping her and continuing beyond. Nuts are rather difficult for me to eat because I have teeth problems so I wasn't done with that snack until 9:30. I was still thirsty then so I got another 8 oz. of water and drank it.

At about 10:30, I had some time to eat something hot, and I was quite chilly so it seemed a good idea. I sauteed a 4.3 ounce salmon fillet in 2 tsp. olive oil. I did salt and pepper it lightly. It was chum salmon, wild caught. I also had 12 oz. coffee that I had brewed myself with 1 tsp. heavy cream and 1 pkt. aspartame type sweetener added to it. I felt a little bit guilty about the heavy cream, and it was only 1 tsp.! I can't let myself be too didactic about this, or it will never work! I was thirsty after the coffee and salmon so I had another 12 oz. water.

At 1:00, I am feeling ravenously hungry! I think this is due to the change in eating. I have bowl containing 1/2 c. frozen peas, 1/2 c. left over whole wheat rotini, and 3 oz. of leftover ham chopped and mixed. The ham was originally roasted with a light glaze. I also have another cup of coffee, this one "au lait." I use 1/2 c. 2% milk, 8 oz. coffee, and 1 pkt. aspartame based sweetener. The food tastes so good!

At 2:30, I head outside for some exercise. My exercise of choice lately has been snow shoveling. It use to be the kids did all the snow shoveling, and I would be walking on the street, but I would so much rather be doing something useful. (Especially in the winter, when the weather is not so enjoyable.) So I did some light snow shoveling for 15 minutes. I would rather exercise longer, but today I have a lot of things to accomplish!

The next part of my day involved a lot of grocery shopping! I could probably count that as exercise, but I am not going to because it is just a regular part of my routine. It is also traditional that whoever does the shopping gets a treat at the end of the trip. Keeping in mind that I was making healthier choices, for my treat I had two pieces of reduced fat string cheese and a 1 L bottle of apricot peach sparking water (calorie and sodium free.) That is a lot of fluid, but I have been very thirsty lately. Hopefully that will moderate soon. The string cheese was eaten at about 6:00, and the water was started at 6:00 and continued on as my beverage for dinner.

Dinner took awhile for me to make. I had to make sure all the groceries got put away properly, and I had to clean up the kitchen a bit before I even started cooking. The result was that I didn't sit down to eat until 8:30. I had 1 more cup of leftover whole wheat rotini, topped with a scant 1.5 cups of spaghetti sauce soup (mushrooms, broccoli, onion, and lean ground beef cooked in a bit of olive oil and then simmered with a jar of spaghetti sauce and a can of diced tomatoes). I topped it off with a tbsp. of parmesan/romano cheese blend and another stick of reduced fat string cheese chopped and melted.

Summary:

Morning snack - 1/2 c. nuts, 1/2 c. blueberries

Breakfast - 4 oz. salmon fillet, coffee w/1 tsp. cream

Lunch - 1/2 c. peas, 1/2 c. whole wheat rotini, 3 oz. ham, coffee w/1/2 c. 2% milk

Afternoon snack - 2 sticks string cheese

Dinner - 1.5 c. spaghetti sauce soup, 1 c. rotini

NQ 96 (A)

Calories 1780

Fat 98 g

Carbs 120 g

Protein 121 g

Water 113 fl oz

Exercise - 15 minutes light snow shoveling

I think it is cool to see that just by making an effort to choose better (not to be perfect) I did do better! Most people would say that my diet for today was excellent.

Diabetes

2010-01-31T13:18:00.003-05:00

I have been having high fasting blood glucose readings. It looks like I have diabetes. I am not surprised. I am obviously in a risk group, and I have had hypoglycemia at least since my teen years and more likely my whole life. Although on the surface hypoglycemia looks like the opposite of diabetes, the truth is that it is actually a risk factor for diabetes. It works like this. Your body has an over active insulin response so every time you eat, any glucose released into your blood stream is immediately stored as fat. The first result is that you are more likely to put on fat than the average person. The second result is that you have the typical symptoms of hypoglycemia: anxiety, hunger way too fast after eating, heart palpitations, feeling faint, and shaky hands.

Well if this keeps happening for years and years, when you hit your 40's or 50's your pancreas, which has been producing insulin when it isn't needed causing the hypoglycemia, starts to basically wear out and not work so well anymore. Suddenly you don't have enough insulin, and you have high blood sugar, hence diabetes. There are some preventative measures you can take (basically eating a low carb diet and choosing carbs that have a low hypoglycemic load), but I think that now that is too late for me. The truth is that I only really understood how this all works quite recently.

It is not too late for me to be healthy though, and even to eat in a way that will cause me to no longer have diabetes. (Although they say there is no cure for diabetes, technically if you have fasting blood glucose levels under 100, and you are not taking any medications to control your blood glucose, you do not have diabetes anymore. This happens in a lot of cases when people lose a lot of weight or switch to a very low carb diet.) I do have decisions to make, and that is what this entry is for.

When I first found out that I had diabetes, my initial reaction was shock! You may find this odd considering that I suspected. For the last two weeks, I have been having odd symptoms: lack of hunger and hunger at weird times for me, weird food cravings, excess thirst, excess urination. At the same time, I thought it must all be in my head and that being tested was just a precaution. Well I am so glad that I took that precaution because now I have choices. What are my choices? Here is how I see it.

Choice #1: Doing Nothing

Yep! Technically I could do nothing. I could keep eating and exercising and living the way that I have been with little thought towards my blood glucose readings.

Pros - This is an easy option. Maybe this diabetes thing really is a fluke that will correct itself. I already try to make healthy eating choices and to exercise on a regular basis. (I love being active!) Why should I do anything differently?

Cons - There is a strong correlation between regularly elevated blood glucose levels and heart disease, kidney disease, neuropathy, and retinopathy. In some cases (particularly kidney disease), the exact cause and effect have even been determined. In the long term, this will definitely affect my quality of life. Of course, I could die tomorrow, but the truth is that even in the short term it is affecting my quality of life. (The headaches, thirst, hunger, excessive urination etc. are things that I would rather not have to deal with daily!)

Choice #2: Make Better Choices

This may sound simple, but in reality, simply making better choices can be one of the difficult changes to make. I know the right way to eat: more whole grains, more veggies, more fruits, more lean proteins, more healthy fats, less refined carbs, less saturated fats. That about sums it up! If I just increase the right foods and decrease the worse foods and increase my exercise, there is a good chance at this point that I will be able to lower and stabilize my blood glucose levels.

Pros - This is really simple in theory. It doesn't require any complicated plan or equipment. I can for the most part eat what my family does with a few occasional substitutions.

Cons - In reality, I would need to set up a support system to increase the likelihood of actually making better choices. If it was so easy, I would be doing it already. I would need to keep track of what I eat and how I exercise, and I would need some sort of markers to show that I was doing better than I was before.

Choice #3: Diet Recommended by the ADA

The American Diabetic Association recommends that those with diabetes follow a diet based on their popular exchange program. For me, this would mean limiting calories to 1500 a day and carefully keeping track of how many servings of what types of foods I eat at each meal.

Pros - Following this diet, I would be sure to lose some weight. It would be easy to know that I was doing the right thing with out thinking about it a lot as long as I bought the right foods and put some effort into pre-meal planning.

Cons - It would be very difficult to stick to the exact exchange program recommended by the ADA while doing normal activities like eating out, attending family functions, and going to potlucks. I would be eating differently from the rest of my family a lot. Most people diagnosed with type 2 diabetes as adults have extreme difficulty sticking to this diet.

Also, the diet is not based on most recent findings of good nutrition (for example it makes no distinction between whole grains and refined carbs.) There is some question if this diet which focuses on mainstream American foods has really been developed as the best diet for those with diabetes or if it is actually, designed as a minimum effort to be combined with insulin or drugs to survive. I don't want mere survival with dialysis by 55 an inevitable and vision loss and possible limb loss not far behind. I want better health.

Choice #4: Low Carb

Diabetes can be thought of as an allergy to carbs. Your body can't process them properly. Therefore eating a diet very low in carbs just might be a good solution for someone with diabetes. A lot of research has shown that pretty much all type 2 diabetes can be cured by following a very low carb diet. (How low varies from person to person, but in general, it tends to be somewhere between 30 and 60 grams of carbs a day, carefully divided between regular meals in the pattern that works best for the individual diabetic.)

Pros - At this point, this choice seems to be the best for my partner Diana, and it would be nice if we were eating the same things. Following this diet would get my blood glucose under control.

Cons - I do not think that a low carb diet is the healthiest diet for everyone, and I do not think that this option is necessary for me at this point. In the past, I have been very unsuccessful at sticking to very low carb diets.

Option 5 - Low Fat

Believe it or not, very low fat diets have also been found to cure type two diabetes. When I say very low fat, I mean a diet with only 10-15% of the calories coming from fat. This type of diet would most likely be vegetarian and dairy products would be limited to those of the skim variety.

Pros - You can eat a lot of food on a low fat diet and still lose weight. I really like fruits and vegetables. I have eaten various forms of low fat diets during much of my life so it seems almost comforting to me to eat this way.

Cons - The most obvious one is that I have eaten various forms of low fat diets for most of my life, and I am extremely overweight. I have doubts that this is an effective way for me to lose weight which may be necessary to stabilize my blood glucose. Also, although I like low carb diets, I am hungry all the time while following them, and therefore am grazing continuously.

Another con, is that low fat diets for diabetes feel wrong to me. That could be something that I could get past with more research on my part, but for now, it feels odd and contradictory.

In conclusion, I think that for now I am going to try choice 2: making better choices. I am going to keep track of my food intake for the month of February with dual goals of getting my weight under 300 lbs. and my fasting blood glucose under 120. Those are very modest goals. I am going to discuss investing in a couple of tools to help me on this journey with my partner. I am not going to obsess about my weight although weight is an easy thing to monitor to enable me to see progress. I am not going to obsess about my blood glucose either. I will refrain from testing it until the last week in February at which point I will decide whether I will continue on with this choice or attempt another path that may be more effective.

Stay tuned for more updates as the month progresses.

Love Yourself Tuesday

2009-12-15T17:33:00.004-05:00

For today's love your yourself Tuesday post, I want to talk about dealing with unhappiness/dis-contentedness/general uncomfortableness. Everyone gets unhappy feelings sometimes. There are many different ways that people cope with these uncomfortable feelings. Some people get really busy so that they don't have to think about it; some people gripe at those around them; some cry and retreat inside themselves. There are many, many ways to cope with uncomfortable feelings.

I am not an expert on unhappiness, but I thought I'd talk a little bit about how I cope, in case it might help someone out there cope in a more loving way. First, it can be important to think about what is causing the unhappiness. Sometimes there is a specific thing that makes us unhappy. We can easily identify it. A pet dies. We don't have enough money to pay our bills. We go to the store for something specific, and they are out of it. Both big events and little events can lead to feelings of sadness and disappointment. When I find myself unhappy because of a specific event, I cope by either fixing or accepting or some combination of the two. If a pet dies, I need to accept because it is not something that can be fixed. The faster that I accept saying to myself, it happened, it cannot be changed, the faster my state of happiness returns. Although it is OK to be sad about sad things, there is no reason to allow a state of uncomfortable discontent to linger.

If I can't pay a bill, a combination approach might be needed. First, I figure out what or when I can pay something, and where the money is going to come from. Then I have to accept that the situation may not be perfect which may lead to some long term fixes like finding ways to increase income. If the store is out of something I wanted or needed, I can choose in the moment either to fix or accept. If I accept, I will just do without. If I fix, I may go to another store. Making the decision is the important thing. Acknowledging that this event is making me unhappy, deciding what to do, and letting go, leads to a better emotional state.

The second kind of unhappiness is the kind that is caused by hormones. I have very little control over it, and it tends to strike me exactly 14 days before my period starts, and yes, it lasts two weeks. It is not as bad as it use to be though because I do know how to cope. First I can label it. That helps. I don't think of it as unhappiness although it pretty much feels the same. I think of it as physical uncomfortableness...sort of like a back ache or sore foot or cold. When I start to cry, and there is no reason whatsoever that I can think of, I look at the calendar first thing, and it is nearly always my ovulation day, and it is no longer a horrible thing. It is empowering! It is just part of who I am. Each month, once I have made that revelation, I can move on doing the next thing living my life with that feeling that I know will pass. OK, I have to deal with it half the time, but it is just like a minor disability. Nothing to keep me down! Once again, acceptance is half the battle. Also it is useful knowing that I do things to minimize it. (In my case, take calcium and vitamin D supplements.)

The third type of unhappiness that I encounter is the most difficult to deal with. It is a general feeling of unhappiness that is not hormonal or caused by an obvious event that I can label. When I find myself experiencing this kind of discontent, I really need to set aside time to find out what is wrong! Usually there is something that seems little that is getting to me. Maybe it was easy to deal with to begin with but it has been building up and is distressing me. Maybe I am not doing enough things that I like to do. Maybe I don't have enough free time. Maybe I dislike something in my surroundings. Once again, accept or fix falls into place, but this time the tricky part often isn't the acceptance or fixing, but the figuring out!

I hope that some of you can relate to these types of emotions and find some useful information in this entry to help you cope with your own discontent in a healthy way.

Passion

2009-12-14T14:31:00.002-05:00

After a long absence from this blog, I feel compelled to write an entry on passion. My blog tagline is "Following a philosophy of positivity, passion, and play." I think I have talked about positivity a lot here, and most people, if not all, have a pretty good concept of what equates play. Passion is a little tricker.

Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary defines "passion" as "an intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction." In philosophy, passions are often seen as a negative thing. These uncontrollable emotional urges that can lead one to sin or folly are seen as the greatest fault of humankind by many philosophical schools. On the other hand, what is the opposite of passion? Could it be apathy? Could it be a life ruled only by reason and logic with one rule following another in a steady march from birth to death?

In my experience, I have tried hard to live a life ruled by logic. My mind works in highly logical ways. I have met others who have also tried, and the result tends to be the same. A life ruled by logic is not only a life with less joy, it is also a life with little accomplished. Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel said, "Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion." I do not completely believe in that statement. I think some great things have been accomplished accidentally without even intent! I think some great things have happened because little things built up until it was nearly inevitable that they would occur. I think some great things have happened because of logic and reason. I think more great things would happen with passion though, and I think those great things would be accompanied by more personal satisfaction and joy!

So I choose to lead a life where I pay attention to passions, both mine and those of others who I interact with, both those positive and negative. Instead of fighting passion, I encourage listening to it, finding out where it originates, and if it resonates with who you are, following it. You just might be a little happier, and great things may follow!

Life...

2009-11-13T12:25:00.003-05:00

My life has become full with many other things, and this journal is no longer high on my list of priorities. I am not going to abandon it though. Accurate and honest health information, body acceptance, eliminating prejudice against heavier people, and living a life full of passion, positivity, and play are all things that are near and dear to my heart. Expect sporadic updates when the need it there.

Product Review - Breyers Inspirations Mint Chocolate Chip Yogurt

2009-09-24T21:33:00.003-04:00

As I have mentioned before, my partner is diabetic and works actively to reduce the carbs in her diet. She really loves ice cream, but it is not a particularly healthy food for her, and portion control is definitely a problem with a big carton in the freezer. Recently she has found a healthier way to satisfy her ice cream craving. She buys single serve containers of yogurt and freezes them. When she wants a treat, she empties a carton, drizzles on a little magic shell topping, and enjoys with less guilt than the real thing.

We have been experimenting with different flavors and brands of yogurt, and that has led to my kids getting into yogurt (both frozen and just refrigerated) too. I am not a big yogurt fan, but when I saw these new Breyers Inspirations, I had to give them a try. I love Breyers ice cream, and mint chocolate chip is one of my all time favorites! I have sensitive teeth and frozen yogurt can get very hard, so I decided to try my new treat straight from the refrigerator.

The first bite was disappointing. There was a very strong sour flavor. Now, I do know that yogurt has a sour flavor, but this flavor really didn't blend well with the peppermint flavor at all! The chocolate chips were really, really good. They clumped together and were had the delicious flavor of high quality chocolate. The texture was perfect. The chips melted on my tongue with none of the chalkiness that is often found in similar products. Also, there were a lot of chips! I finished the container, but the combination of sour-yogurty-ness and mint were so displeasing that I will not be buying this product again.