Then I got bogged down with a trial that just wasn't working for me. It was the exercise walk everyday. I was torn up by anxiety of walking outside for 30 minutes a day. Note, I love walking, but I do have some agoraphobia issues, and they came out in full force!
Now I have realized that although "The Long Walk" is one of my big goals, I do not need the 30 minute exercise walk to get me there. There are lot of other training models that work better with my mind and abilities and that is what I have been doing the past year, and I am happy with that.
What lesson did I learn? First of all, I learned that I need need to learn from my failures. I need to let me be both the scientist and the subject of those types of experiments in my life. Second, I think I learned that I need to not plan things out too far in advance. I am much more a "go with the flow" sort of person.
I just found myself realizing that I am at a point where I think I would like a few personal challenges of the 30 day trial variety so I am starting here. My diet has fallen apart into an on and off thing that is ultimately going to lead to weight gain. On top of that, with the gall bladder disease, I am feeling insecurity and fear every day about everything I put in my mouth if I am not sticking to a plan with guidelines to keep me healthy. The problem is that there is a point when while on plan I need to ride out an uncomfortable period, and I have not been successful at pushing past that point the last few months.
With a boyfriend who rather frequently takes us out to eat, and a vacation on the horizon in June, I need to get this under control to feel healthier and more secure in my digestive health as I approach the summer. So, starting tomorrow I will embark on a 30 day trial. The challenge will be to record all my food in Diet Power for 30 days and to stick to the calorie recommendations they give me. (One of the best things about the Diet Power program is that they change your recommendations based on your weight. I love the fluidity of the program, and it also meets my belief that it is healthiest if our food intake varies from day to day.)
Of course, I will report on my progress here.