Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Day 31: Another Year Ends and Tomorrow Is a New Beginning

Single-tasking has become engrained in my mind in the same way that positive thinking has. When I start to feel overwhelmed or realize that I am becoming nonproductive, I automatically think two things. First I ask myself if there is something that I should be doing. Things that I should be doing would include things like preparing a meal or going for my walk. If I do not have some obligation that I have forgotten about or become distracted from, I ask myself what do I want to do to move myself forward in the right direction. I select a task, for there are usually more than one that present themselves to my mind, and take the steps necessary to complete it. I find that single-tasking is now a habit to me, and I have had a successful month in cultivating that habit.

Now for the bad news, I have not yet gotten exercise down to a habit! It would be easy for me to make excuses. I still have a lot of fear. I have been ill much of this month. The weather has been atrocious! BUT I am not making excuses. I can exercise around my fear. I can exercise when I am ill. (Well, maybe not always but for the most part!) I can find exercise options that will work in all weather.

So how am I going to remedy this situation in the new year? First of all, I am re-evaluting my indoor exercise options. I do not want fear to hold me back from things that are positive in my life. I may not be able to conquer the fear or the weather, but I can exercise inside. Second, the hour from 2:00 to 3:00 is going to be dedicated to exercise. I can use this hour for something pleasurable and healthy for me. My family won't mind. They will support me! Having this habit will give me consistency when life is unsteady and will help me in more ways than one!

I am still going on to add a new habit for January 2009. Recently, my girlfriend was talking about goals. I have not been much of a goal person. Whenever I have tried to set goals, it often seemed that they were torn away from me no matter how hard I tried to stay on track. On the other hand, those times when I took more of a "set intentions" and "go with the flow" approach, the things I wanted were more likely to come into my life.

Over the course of the last five years, I have been pulling myself further and further away from being a goal setter. Now I find myself at a place where I am once again feeling very out of control and scared. More than ever before, I find myself also without goals. I think the older you get the less you want, or at least, that is the way that it is for me.

I have been thinking that I want a habit that has to do with goals. I want something that I can work for so that I can feel in control. On the other hand, I am not meant to be in control. I am meant to trust. I am meant to live in the moment.

Then there is the problem that creeps up when I try to decide on a goal. Let's see. I'd like for us to own a home in a beautiful spot. At this point, I'd be happy with a beautiful piece of land someplace warm that we could plant a tent on as long as it was ours! Of course, getting to a piece of land anywhere requires a vehicle. One that is safe. Of course, both of those goals require money and lots of input from the other members of my family.

I have managed to earn some money this year. That is an idea. I could have a goal to earn money. If we kept everything I earned through my paypal for savings, perhaps I could make a difference in that way. That money would be for our dream of a place for ourselves. I will have to discuss this with my family before I make any decisions.

So I will exit this wishy-washy journal entry here!

No comments: