Sunday, November 2, 2008

Day 2: Breaking Away from Perfectionism

Today I ate lunch at a reasonable hour, grabbed my timer, set it for one hour, and headed out on my walk. I walked around the lawn for awhile viewing the foliage. I paced up and down the driveway concentrating on staying in the moment experiencing my walk to the fullest. Then I headed out on the road finally allowing my mind to wander where it would painting fantasies in my head.

I walked a lot farther away from home than I have in awhile. I used some techniques from my teenage years to stay out of fearful situations. I crossed the street when cars came. I turned around if there was a person or a dog. I let the situations decide which way I would walk while I thought and thought and thought. I was thoroughly enjoying myself, but I knew in the back of my mind that I had a lot to do at home so when it seemed like it should be time to turn towards home, I looked at my timer. I had set it for an hour, but I hadn't turned it on!

Well, I had no idea really how long I had been walking, so I turned around and quickly headed home. When I got home, I burst into the house and looked at the clock. I wasn't exactly sure when I had left. I have been trying hard to pay less attention to the time so I don't often look at clocks if I can avoid it. My girlfriend said that she thought it had been about 45 minutes.

In the past, I would have went and searched my IM records or other online activities trying to discover just exactly when I left the computer and just exactly how long I had walked, or I might have decided to go back out and walk another hour because I couldn't be sure that I had completed my commitment. I would have at least gone out and walked for fifteen or twenty minutes to make sure that the total was longer than an hour.

Guess what? I did none of that. I went out. I walked a long time. My legs were tired, and my mind was full of joy. That is what mattered! Letting go of perfectionism feels great!

1 comment:

BunnyKissd said...

I am so proud of you!