Saturday, October 11, 2008

Day 11: Positivity Doesn't Mean Limiting Your Emotions

Another criticism of choosing positivity that I often hear is that it is wrong to suppress your negative emotions. Thinking that a habit of positivity means never being sad or angry or afraid is not the reality of the situation. Sometimes you are going to be sad. Things are going to happen that make you angry. You may find yourself in a situation where you are afraid. The point is not to not be sad, angry, or fearful. The point is to choose to face these situations with a positive attitude and to continue to seek joyful moments and peace.

I will share an example from my own life. One of our cats is missing. We have had her for three years and not only do I love her, but she was the first pet that Diana and I acquired together and is therefore extra important to me. I am very sad that she isn't here. I have looked for her in our woods and had the kids help me look under the trailer and throughout the neighborhood. I do not know for sure that she isn't coming back at this point, and so I can't even really mourn her being gone.

So I am sad. I could feel guilty that I should have not let her go outside or should have watched her every second. That would be negative. I took care of her the best that I could. We all did. Even if I had made mistakes, it would do no good to dwell on them because you can't change anything in the past.

What do I do? I think positive thoughts about her. I imagine her coming home tomorrow after a few adventures or being safe in another home. If she has died, I imagine that it was quick and painless and that she has moved on. I don't dwell on the uncertainity of it because once again, I have done all I can do at the moment. That is choosing positivity. I am still sad. I still wish that our little Tenkitty was home, but on the other hand, I am going to still live my life joyfully because weeping all day or drowning in guilt will not help Ten or myself or anyone of my friends and family!

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