Sunday, September 28, 2008

Three Day Countdown!

After today is done, there will only be two more days before the first, so I thought it was time to do a recap of sorts.

First a reaffirmation of my commitment: During the month of October, I am committed to developing the habit of positivity! I realize that this will involve some discomfort and a learning period, but I am committed to doing the work necessary to make this happen. I am motivated by the desire to have a life full of positivity, passion, and play! Also, although I realize that positivity is a wonderful habit in its own right, I know that being positive will make it easier to develop other positive habits and to reach my goals.

Now for an honest look at my obstacles. I have three main obstacles. The first is my own negative self chatter. In my preparation period, this has been the easiest obstacle to squash, but I will need to be ever vigilant during this month long cultivation period, keeping the pesky thoughts away so that the positive thoughts can flourish!

The second obstacle is my physical body which through chemical means creates pockets of negativity and sorrow when things go poorly. I need to remember to allow the mourning without perpetuating the negativity beyond what is absolutely necessary. Two things can help this process. First I can keep up a banter of positive self talk and positive talk to others when this state hits even if it is difficult. Second, I must make sure that I do not allow myself to wallow in this sorrow. I have to choose positivity. When these types of moods strike, choosing positivity can be extremely difficult. I see this as my biggest challenge.

My third obstacle will be other people, both other people who look down on me because I am positive, and not picking up on the emotions of my loved ones who are feeling negative. To combat these obstacles, I plan on limiting my time with negative people and pushing into my uncomfortable zones with loved ones, continuing to be positive in the face of their negativity.

I feel that I have a good plan in place for the next month. I am looking forward to making a positivity a habit by November 1, 2008!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

What Is the Goal of Positivity?

I have been very openly pro-positivity lately. Oddly enough, many people respond to my commitment to positivity with the question: "Where do you think that is going to get you?"

The truth is I don't think positivity is going to "get me" anywhere, at least not the way they mean. I am not interested in forming a habit of positivity so that I will make more money. It is not some weird gimmick to get it all, success, beauty, popularity, etc. I simple want to be more positive because I want to be happier, and I have seen that positivity increases happiness, and decreases stress and anxiety.

Obviously being happier as well as less stressed is going to help me move along better in a forward motion to other good things. That is not my goal though. Even if nothing in my life changed except for a habit of positivity it would be worth it to me!

Friday, September 26, 2008

Dealing with Negativity: Gossip, Mourning, & Today's Trial

I like to observe and think about other people. I am a very good judge of character, and I think that is the result of all the people watching that I have done. I also like to talk about people. Not just to anyone, but with those whom I trust and whom I am close to, the topic of conversation often turns to people we know. This type of conversation is often called gossip. My goal is not to spread rumors about people or hurt anyone. My goal is to figure people out so that I can have a better understanding of how people work and ultimately be able to be closer to people. Having said that, these conversations are not limited to people's positive characteristics. They are well rounded full fleshed conversations exploring many aspects of people's personalities. It the person being discussed was there, there would definitely be things said that would make them uncomfortable.

I assume most people have these types of conversations. I don't mind thinking about people talking about me this way. This is not because I am comfortable with who I am or because I think people won't say negative things, it is because if I'm not there to hear it it doesn't hurt and because I think it is sort of cool that I would be interesting enough so that someone would want to use me as a conversation topic.

Since I have embarked on a course of positivity, I have been wondering if these conversations I have are negative. I have come to a few conclusions. First, when I talk about someone, I present a well rounded picture of them. I am very good at seeing all sides of someone and tend to stick up for people that others don't like instead of the other way around. Second, when my loved ones and I discuss people, the conversations are in no way malicious. Even when we are upset at someone or don't particularly like them, the purpose of the conversations remains understanding someone better not hurting anyone. My conclusion is that these conversations are not negative.

On the other hand, gossip definitely can be negative! Most people have found themselves in situations where someone was being pulled apart and torn down with no good intentions involved. I am not going to get involved in those situations anymore. If I can't say anything nice, I will leave. I know that arguing is not the answer, but if more people would just leave when people were being bad-mouthed, the world would be a much more positive place.

Today I had another trial in my path to positivity. Once again the past came knocking and managed to knock me right into a pit of despair. Once again, I tried to talk and to push to the positive, but it was really hard! There is one thing I think that I need to remember. It is OK to mourn. Mourning is a normal part of life. I can't get back one moment of the past, but it still affects me now. If the past is negatively affecting me, I can allow myself to experience the sadness that there were mistakes made and mourn the fact that there is no way to go back and change things. I don't need to dwell on it. Just acknowledging it is a help though! Then I can recommit to making the best decisions that I can now and in the future and move forward with positivity as best as I can!

Thursday, September 25, 2008


Originally, I planned to write a post about gossip today. It is a post that I still want to write, but I have decided to take a break from my regularly scheduled programming to talk about today.

Today my girlfriend and I had to deal with some difficult issues. They were not issues between us but with the outside world. I am very proud of my girlfriend because she chose not to procrastinate on this issue, but to just handle it right away. (She really did all the dealing, but it affects me too.)

Afterwards though, I fell apart inside. I was trying very hard to not think negatively in any way, and I didn't really have any negative conscious thoughts, at least not right away, but the waves of emotional pain that rolled over me were difficult to dismiss. It is easier when I can see a negative thought pattern.

How did I handle it? Well first of all my body and mind and even soul started to shut down. That is the easiest way to get rid of overwhelming emotional pain, and I think it is OK for a little while, but eventually we all have to return to the real world. Tonight I had several obligations that I still needed to take care of so a complete shut down was not in the picture. I sat there bearing it and not quite succeeding, and I decided to talk. I IM'd my girlfriend with everything that was coming into my head. Because I had not been consciously thinking, the things I told her were coming from deep inside me, contradictory feelings of self-righteousness and guilt, fear of living and even more fear of dying. Everything that was in me came pouring out. She listened and validated my feelings, and that helped.

I still was hurting though. I finished up my required tasks as best as I could, and I engaged my daughters in banter to try to relieve my stress. That helped too so now I am calm and mostly better.

I did OK, but I have been trying to analyze the situation to see how I could have done better. First of all, even though I wasn't having conscious negative thoughts, I could have verbalized all the positives. The fact that I didn't, and that I later shared negative thoughts with my girlfriend, tells me that I was just repressing the negative. The fact is that it is very difficult to be openly positive when I feel pain, either physical or emotional. The truth is that it is possible. I have been squashing the negative pretty well when my problems are physical. I need to transfer that ability over to emotional problems too.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Positivity - When Health Issues Get in the Way (Part 2)

You may say, "It is all just great to say you are going to stay positive even when you feel yucky, but when reality hits, it is just too hard!" That is why I am doing a follow up here. I need more that just positive intentions. I need plans: tips and techniques to use to keep myself positive when my body is hurting or my emotions are out of whack!

Here is my plan for staying positive when health issues get me down. The first step is letting go of perfectionism and accepting myself. So much in staying positive boils down to letting go of perfectionism. One of the reasons I get negative when I am not feeling well is because I can't do as much as well as I think I should. Instead of letting the negative internal chatter arise, I need to say, "Wait! I am me! I am doing my best right now, and this is good enough. I am good enough just the way I am!"

The second step is recognizing that I have needs and taking care of them as best as I can. If I am in pain, and I keep "doing" instead of resting, I am going to have a much harder time staying positive than if I take some time off and take care of me! If I have a cold, I need to slow down and find ways to support myself. Listening to my body and mind, I can make better decisions which will make it easier to stay positive.

The third thing I can do is to recognize the advantages of positivity. Negativity serves no purpose. It is a waste of my energy and can make things worse. Being positive, finding the positives, and looking forward to positives in the future are all great ways to make sure that I am living life to the fullest and not letting negativity make my illnesses worse.

One last note, one of the worse things about being negative is how it affects your relationships with others. When you are sick, you need positive relationships with other people more than ever. It might be tempting to think on some level that if you are complaining and letting people know how bad you feel, they will feel sorry for you and be more likely to help. With those who love us the most, this might work to a certain extent, but it definitely isn't the ideal. No one likes a complainer. It is OK to tell others that you have a health issue, and to ask for help and support when you need it. Facing your health issues with a positive, matter of fact attitude is the better way to go about it. If you are a positive, fun person to be around, people will be far more likely to want to be with you and help you out when you need it. I would much rather have others near me who genuinely like and care about me, than those who pity me.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Positivity - When Health Issues Get in the Way

I was bopping around in my ever expanding bubble of positivity until "pop", ovulation hit and I found myself struggling with negativity all over again! Lots of people get PMS, a little extra irritation, maybe some physical discomfort, an excuse to let negativity creep into your life. I have PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) basically a debilitating form of PMS which causes severe emotional problems two weeks every month. Yesterday I had my first unexplained crying jag of the month. The littlest things set me off. Sometimes it is literally nothing.

Am I going to let this keep me down? No! Having health issues is no reason to be negative. You may think that the irritability of PMS is a good excuse for showing the world a negative attitude, but in the end, the one you are hurting the most is you! I don't want to feel negative. I want to be happy. I want to have fun! Even when my moods are all over the place, I can be conscious of what is happening and chose positivity and joy as much as possible. Wallowing in the symptoms of PMDD will not help me accomplish this. Yes, I realize that some days it is going to be more of a struggle to find the positive, but it is always there. It is just the hormones making me depressed, not reality.

Many of us have health issues. Some are chronic. (In addition to PMDD, I have fibromyalgia.) Some are temporary. (In the recent past, I have had toothaches and a sinus infection.) When you have a health issue, one of the hardest things to deal with is the feeling that it is not fair! I certainly understand wanting to rant and rave about this unfairness and how hard it is; I also understand having the desire to crawl under the covers and hide in the misery that is our poor health. I am not going to do those things though. I already have health issues; I do not need negativity compounding them!

I am going to accept my health issues as part of who I am today. I am going to take care of myself. I am also going to look at all of my world with positivity. When I feel negative, I am going to squash those feelings and turn them around! I am determined to be a person of positivity facing all the days of my life with optimism, hope, and joy!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Staying Positive in a Negative World

So I have been working hard on my positivity. I have been listening to my thoughts and words, and watching my actions, squashing the negativity and turning it around with positive thinking. I have had many successes and occasional struggles. What is my biggest struggle right now? Staying positive in the face of others negativity! How can I stay positive when my partner, kids, neighbors, and others I come in contact with are exhibiting negativity? Time to brainstorm some solutions!

First I want to tackle my partner. She is not a horribly negative person. She struggles with many of the same difficulties I do, and she is trying to follow me on this journey. She does have some deeply ingrained habits of negativity though, and they inevitably pull me in. This of course doesn't help her turn her thinking around to the positive and can lead to a vicious circle of negativity that hurts our family and ourselves. How can I stop this cycle? First I need to recognize her behavior for what it is, a habit. In the types of situations that I am referring to here, she isn't horribly sad or angry, something has just annoyed her or she is tired, and she breaks out in negativity because that is how she has typically behaved in these situations in the past. Although it is OK for me to show empathy, these are not the types of situations where I need to share her sorrow. Instead, I can briefly express empathy while remaining my joyful self. If the mood is right, I can go further and attempt to turn the situation around through gratitude, humor, or an honest appraisal.

Next come the kids. A long time ago, I read Don't Sweat the Small Stuff with Your Family: Simple Ways to Keep Daily Responsibilities and Household Chaos From Taking Over Your Life, by Richard Carlson. I don't remember most of the book, but one tip has stuck with me all these years. He said, we'd all be a lot happier if we didn't expect our kids to be happy all the time. Although positivity is a good thing, you can't control someone else's moods and feeling responsible for your kids is just going to lead to more of the negativity that you are trying to avoid. Unfortunately, this advice is not that easy to follow. I am going to make a more concerted effort in this area though. The truth is my kids are in general far more positive than I am! I do not need to get overly concerned when one of them is in a bad mood. The best thing for me to do is to continue with my own positivity being a good example for them.

How about all the other negativity out there? Extended family? Friends? People you see when you are shopping or driving or otherwise out and about? There are several things I can do to improve those situations retaining my own positivity while influencing others for positivity. First of all, I can spend as little time as possible with people who are frequently negative. Yes, this goes for family and friends too! If they are pulling me down, I can find better ways to spend my time. When I feel I need to be with them, I will work double-time on my positivity, switching conversation topics when necessary, and leaving as soon as I feel that my positivity is being compromised. I will refrain from talking negatively about others. In more casual situations, I will not take anything personally. If I see people acting negatively, I will assume that it has nothing to do with me, and I will be quick to share a smile and a kind word. In public, a sincere smile, often turns a negative situation into a positive one. I will be a force for positivity, pointing out the good points of any situation in the face of others negative reactions.

Through preparing myself for areas of struggle, I hope to be able to reach my commitment to a month of positivity this October. Developing a habit of positivity, will make these reactions second nature so that after awhile it shouldn't be a struggle at all!

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Noticing Negativity

I have spent the last few days really paying attention to what I say and do. Some of my negativity I have known about for awhile, for example, the idle chatter that runs through my head when things aren't going the way I want. That subtle negativity is probably the hardest to switch around. What I have discovered though is that there is another type of negativity in my life. This negativity is actually more obvious and easier to banish. This negativity is expressed in my words and actions.

Our family practices consensual living. Our kids are equal members of the family who are allowed to have and express their own thoughts and feelings. They make real decisions and have equal say in family decisions. When we have problems, we all work together to find solutions. Of course, there are times that I find the others in my family annoying! Sometimes this annoyance becomes negativity. Little complaints here and there add up! It is OK to recognize that a situation isn't working and needs to be fixed if possible, but it is not OK to generate random negativity about either the situation or the people involved. If I find the behavior of one of my family members annoying, I have two choices. I can decide to just accept it with goodwill as being the quirk of a family member, or I can try to change it. (Ask the person cheerfully to stop, tell the person that it is bothering me and help them to brainstorm other places to do it/things to do, etc.) There is no need to be negative. It doesn't help anything!

Another area of negativity I have noticed is my behavior, thoughts, and feelings towards our pets. We have three cats and one Guinea pig, and a stray cat that doesn't exactly belong to us but is hanging around. The cats never like the change of weather or even worse the change of the seasons. The start acting erratically, and they get needy! I love each of our pets, but they can be annoying. They like to sit in front of my computer monitor and climb on the kitchen counters when I am trying to cook! Instead of getting negative about it, lately I have been seeing the humor in the situation and have been just removing the cat with gentle words and then positively gone on with my day. It makes a world of difference in how I feel!

The third area of negativity that I have been focusing on is just the random little things. It is surprising how often we let little things get us in a bad mood, a mosquito, dirty dishes, nothing I want to wear clean, a slammed door. The negativity that little things create can build up to mood altering proportions taking days that could be filled with joy and turning them into days we can't wait to end. By paying attention to my actions and words, I have been turning negativity around! I have found if I consciously change my words and actions, a change in thoughts automatically occurs.

How do I create this change? Well, if the situation I don't like is something I can reasonably fix, I do that first, cheerfully! If it is something I'd rather tolerate or don't have any choice about, I make sure that I see the humor in the situation, and then I don't let it get me down. I work hard to remove complaints and whining. I see the positive that there is. It is not always easy to face annoyances with positivity, but it is worth it to me!

Coming soon...remaining positive in the face of others negativity.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

The "How's" of Positive Thinking

Yesterday I talked about the why's of positive thinking. Today I'll be talking about some of the how's. I realize that changing a habit that I have had for quite awhile now is not necessarily going to be easy. To prepare myself, I am thinking about just exactly what I think positive thinking is and then translating the final product into thought patterns and behaviors that I can incorporate into my life.

The first step is to be aware of my thinking. So often, our mind chatter is unthought about. I am becoming more aware everyday of the thoughts in my mind, and when they are negative, I squash them! Of course, it isn't exactly that easy. If you try not to think something, you are very likely to dwell on it even more. So after the initial squashing, I turn the thought around. For example, if I am cooking dinner, and the thought flies through my head that I am a very bad girl because dinner is so late today, I squash that thought, and then turn it around to, "Isn't it wonderful that I am cooking a delicious and nutritious meal for my family and myself!" Oddly enough, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be. I almost make a game of it. I don't lie to myself either. None of that praise for the sake of praise! The truth is we all have good parts, and if we let go of negativity, it is easy to celebrate them!

One of the toughest areas to incorporate positivity is when something bad happens. Let's face it. Not only am I going to make mistakes. My friends and family are too. To make matters worse, sometimes bad things are going to happen to my loved ones and me, even though none of us has done anything wrong. First, I am not going to dwell on my own or anyone else's mistakes. Once a moment has passed you can't ever get it back. It doesn't exist anymore. It is time to go on from there into the future. Secondly, I am going to find the silver linings. There is always a silver lining. Job losses can lead to better jobs and new experiences. Missing a bus can lead to badly needed quiet alone time or meeting a new friend. If you keep your eyes open and expect the positive, you will find it!

Perhaps the best part of developing the habit of positivity is finding fun! Every time, I approach an activity, I am going to expect to have fun! Sometimes the fun part will be a little thing. The feeling of warm water on my hands when I wash the dishes or the sun on my face when I hang the wash. Sometimes it will be bigger things that I can't imagine ahead of time, but I can anticipate that any activity will be fun. What do we know about anticipation? If often becomes fact! Part of anticipating fun will involve letting go of negative people. This can be a tough one. Especially if close family or friends are negative. Sometimes the best you can do is reducing time spent around negativity. To combat that, I plan on surrounding myself with positive people. If I am surrounded with positive people how can I fail to have fun?

A few last thoughts on how to keep myself positive. I need to recognize and accept all of my positive parts. Stating our positive traits on a regular basis is a great way to reinforce the positivity habit! I need to recognize others positive parts. Talking negatively about others is not a part of positivity. If you can't think of anything positive to say, you shouldn't say anything at all! Positive affirmations can be the cement that holds your positivity habit in place. I am not the type to have a list of positive affirmations that I repeat verbatim at certain times of the day. My positive affirmations spring up out of my heart and soul sometimes silently chanted to carry me through a rough time, sometimes shouted outside at the top of my lungs with joy for being me alive today! The other kind are fine too. What works for me may not work best for you!

Monday, September 8, 2008

Why Be Positive?

I think that the advantages of positive thinking and having a positive attitude are obvious, but then I talk to people with deeply ingrained negativity, and I realize that the benefits are not obvious to everyone!

The primary benefit of positive thinking is that it builds a base of happiness in your life that can carry you through anything. Getting in the the habit of squashing negative thoughts and replacing them with positive thoughts increases your internal strength. When you have reservoirs of positivity, and something that on the surface seems negative happens, it is much easier to turn it around and see the silver lining. It is easier to move forward doing what needs to be done. It is easier to stay calm and think clearly so that wise decisions can be made.

A second benefit of positive thinking is that our thoughts often become self-fulfilling prophecies. Tell yourself often enough that you can't do it, and most likely, you won't be able to. Conversely tell yourself you can, and you will! Make sure that you are not setting yourself up for failure with a lot of negative self-talk.

The third benefit of positivity is that positive people are pleasant to be around. Negative people have more trouble making friends and keeping them. They are also more likely to attract other negative people. Get togethers are likely to turn into whine fests. Positive people have fun and help others along. They are less likely to jump to negative conclusions and are good at avoiding drama. If you want a better social life, embrace positivity!

Some of you may be saying, "I can't help it. I was born a negative person." I have good news for you. I have known people who felt that way before who decided to embrace positivity and succeeded! Just think about it. "I can't help it" is a negative statement. "I was born a negative person" is a negative statement. You don't really know that either is true. Turn them around! Say, "I can change negative thoughts to positive thoughts. I was born with the ability to adapt." It may not be automatic, but through practice anyone can develop the habit of positivity.

Tomorrow I am going to write about some methods to help you become a positive thinker!

Sunday, September 7, 2008

More about Weight Loss

For those of you joining me here who hope to find secrets or support that will help you lose weight, do not fear, I am on your side! I do intend to keep weighing myself, and I do intend to post weight loss tips and recipes. Of course, I hope in the process you may decide to join me and become "someone who doesn't worry about her (or his) weight," but regardless of where you are in your journey, I have experience in your shoes and know how it feels!

Today I will talk a little bit about me. I weight over 300 lbs. I can say with some certainty that I weigh between 310 lbs. and 330 lbs., but because my scale doesn't register over 300 lbs., I don't know exactly. The last time I weighed in at Curves, I weighed 318 lbs. I don't feel particularly lighter or heavier than then. I do weigh myself once a week. Although I don't worry about my weight, I do want to be healthy, and I plan on letting you know if I break the under 300 mark.

I haven't particularly been worrying about what I eat or how much I exercise, but I know it is fun to see what someone else eats, so I hope to post the food I eat on various days when I remember to keep track along with any special exercise I might participate in. If you have any particular things that you'd like to see included, feel free to leave a comment, and I will see what I can do.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

A Habit of Positive Thinking

Lately I have become a fan of zenhabits. I have a huge need for routine in my life. At the same time, I don't like to be a slave to a routine. Add to this equation, the fact that I recently served three years in the fast paced world of quick service restaurant management and have extreme difficulty relaxing, finding myself feeling "fight or flight feelings" at the slightest bit of stress! I have been searching for flexible routines, goals, and life improvements that I can actually achieve without causing added stress in my life.

In steps zenhabits, with a plan for incorporating new habits into your life one month at a time. This is something I can do! I thought a lot about what habit I wanted to add first. Rising early? I love mornings and that would be good for me, but it isn't as pressing as other things. Exercise? I love "moving," but it is too close to the kind of thing I use to do when I was someone who worried about her weight. I think if I pick exercise the first month, I will be setting myself up for failure!

What would help me the most? I think I need to incorporate more positive thinking into my life. It feels odd to type that. I am a positive thinker! People always comment on my optimism. I am definitely a glass half full sort of person! The truth is though that deep inside me I have a huge amount of guilt for things that have happened in the past, and this guilt tends to rear its ugly head at the worst of times pulling me down. So October 2008 is going to be the month that I add the habit of positive thinking to my life!

Why wait? Wouldn't it be good to add more positive thinking to my life now? Of course! I am already adding more positive thinking to my life. But I really want to succeed! So I am going to do more than just say that I am going to incorporate a habit of positive thinking into my life. I am going to research positive thinking. I am going to listen to my own thinking and work on figuring out my problem areas. I am going to set a plan in place to limit my ability to fail.

This is the first part of that plan: a commitment here to that journey. I hope you will all follow me and increase your own positive thinking in the process.

Friday, September 5, 2008

The Beginning

The very first blog I had on the internet was a weight loss blog. I had it at aol back when aol's blogs were ad free. I read lots of other weight loss blogs, and a lot of others read mine. There was a real feel of comraderie and community. My blog was a good blog, telling not only about my life and struggles with my weight both past and present, but also giving weight loss tips and support to others. It was featured a few times on AOL's front page both for health and for blogging. I loved my blog!

Then I fell away from it. The best weight loss bloggers in my opinion were the ones who posted regularly regardless of success or failure, and who had more successes than failure. Although I was successful to begin with, after awhile I started to fall into the more failures category. I still posted very regularly, but I wasn't going anywhere with the weight loss and was feeling pretty negative about my "role model" status.

About that same time, I found livejournal and started a general journal about my life there making online friends who had more in common with me than just being overweight. I still worried about weightloss of course and had tons of successes, usually followed by worse failures. My weight loss posts were fewer and fewer and eventually I stopped posting to my weight loss blog altogether.

Move ahead about five years to this January. I was a member of Curves primarily because my girlfriend really like it there. They were having a biggest loser challenge. I knew I could win. I know how to lose weight. I am the weight loss expert. Everyone knows that!!! I have lost over 100 pounds on several occasions (obviously the problem is that I put it back on plus more!) Anyways, we needed money so I signed up and set off losing weight the way I know best, count calories and exercise lots!!!

To begin with, I was at the head of the pack. I wasn't even 100% consistent, and I had no problem losing more than anyone else each week! I was a weight loss machine! There was one problem though. I was so stressed out! My whole life was focused on weight loss, and it was hard work. It completely took over. I didn't have time or energy for my kids or my partner. My hobbies fell by the wayside. All my goals, cares, and concerns other than weight loss fell by the wayside. I was not happy.

About halfway through, something happened. I had a realization! It wasn't worth it. I thought to myself, "What if I was a person who didn't worry about her weight?" Could I possibly weigh any more? All of the weight I had gained while my teen 115 lb. body became my 40 year old 300 lb. self was gained while worrying about my weight! Obsessively at times! What if I hadn't worried about my weight all those years? Perhaps I would be thinner now, but that really isn't the point. The point is that I would have been able to devote so many minutes, hours, days, years, and energy to other things! Things I probably would have enjoyed a lot more! Things that I probably would have been a whole lot more successful at in the long-term.

I talked to my family about quitting the biggest loser, and they agreed that it wasn't worth it, and that they wanted me back. So I stopped trying. I became someone who didn't worry about her weight, and it was great! I still am that person, and it still is great!

Now, you may wonder why someone who doesn't worry about her weight would have a weight loss blog. Well, I realize there are a whole lot of other people out there who are just like me. I also realize that I might not win them over to my side. There is a thought pattern in the weight loss world that if you just keep trying and don't give up, then you will eventually succeed. I realize that there is some truth in that statement true. At the same time, I don't know if all that energy invested in failures is worth it. There are so many things in life more important that being thin.

I hope that this blog will help those who are investing energy in losing weight to also live the rest of their lives to the fullest. I want to give people info on the latest research in weight loss so that their efforts aren't focused in a negative direction. For those who decide to join me in being people who don't worry about their weight, I want to help them discover a path that is right for them. Just because I don't worry about my weight doesn't mean that I don't try to live a healthy life and make good choices.

Perhaps most importantly, I want to share my journey! I think hearing others stories can be the best inspiration of all.